


No Mum, He Really Is My Boyfriend

by showmeyourtardis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Marauders' Era, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Hogwarts, Pregnant Lily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:29:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2494463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showmeyourtardis/pseuds/showmeyourtardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Remus has to go on one more date set up by his mother, he will maul his own face off. It was nothing against the boys, they were... Well, they were horribly dull, but it was mostly the werewolf thing. So when an escape plan, in the form of Sirius Black, presents itself, Remus is more than happy to take it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Huge Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> So it's a fake relationship fic, yaaaaaay. Um, uh, I don't know what else to say, just enjoy it. And if you feel like it, why not throw in some kudos/reviews, thank you! 
> 
> There is smut coming up as well, but I'll mention it at the beginning of smut-containing chapters in case you're not into that

**Remus**

 

Remus apparated back to his lounge. It was rude to apparate in the middle of a sentence, but he didn't care. He had to get away from whatever his name was. It had been another date set up by his mother and by all accounts, it was the worst one yet. Whatever his name was, was incredibly dull. So dull, in fact, that Remus had already forgotten his name.

He rubbed a hand over his face and glanced around the mess that was his lounge. He narrowed his eyes at Sirius sprawled across the sofa, drooling in his sleep. His leather jacket was bunched up on the floor, atop a pile of sweet wrappers. Empty glasses and mugs of half drunk coffee were dotted around the room. Remus had been gone for three hours and already the lounge looked like a bomb site. How on earth Sirius managed to mess up a room _this much_ in so little time, was beyond Remus.

All he knew, was that he was absolutely not cleaning it this time.

He grabbed his wand from his pocket and aimed it at one of the glasses, “Wingardium Leviosa.”

The glass hovered, the water sloshing against the sides, threatening to spill out. It made its slow way to Sirius and floated just above his face. In one swift motion, Remus twirled his wand and the glass spun upside down, splashing the water across Sirius's face.

Sirius jerked upright, spluttering and gasping. He looked panicked and terrified. Swiping his hands over his face, he caught sight of Remus. His face darkened. Remus tucked his wand back into his pocket, smirking slightly. The look on Sirius's face when he woke up had definitely brightened his day. Sirius placed his feet on the ground and rubbed at his eyes, “You promised to stop doing that.”

“You promised to stop messing up my house.” Remus said pointedly.

“It's _our_ house.” Sirius said through a yawn. When Remus kicked disgustedly at an empty crisp packet, Sirius asked, “How was your date?”

Remus groaned for a long time, and flopped down on the couch next to Sirius. He ran a hand through his hair, “Awful. Just... Just awful.”

“That bad?” Sirius asked, picking his jacket off the ground, and levitating it towards the coat rack. He stood up, surveyed the mess around him, and made no attempt to clean it up. The tips of his hair were curled up slightly from where he'd lay on the couch.

“For three hours he talked about the effects of weather on Tentaculas. _Three hours._ ” Remus groaned.

Sirius scoffed, and flopped back down on the couch. Remus glanced around the messy room and grimaced. He could leave Sirius to clean this up, but both of them knew that could take up to three days to get done, even with magic. Remus would have to do it, maybe some cleaning would take his mind off Boring McBoringface's idea of a date. Really, was this what Remus was to expect for the rest of his life now? Boring dates with boring people, set up by his mother? Remus sighed. The problems with being a werewolf.

“Why don't you just tell your mum you don't want to date?” Sirius asked, popping another Pumpkin Fizz into his mouth and tossing the wrapper to the ground – choosing to ignore the disgusted noise Remus let out.

“ _Because._ ” Remus said, reciting the answer he always gave to this question, “My mum wants me to be happy and she doesn't think I can be happy on my own. She won't accept _'mum, nobody wants to date a werewolf'_ as an excuse either.”

Sirius pinned him with a strange look. Remus drew his brows together, Sirius was looking at him so weirdly. The expression left his face quickly, replaced by amusement, “Women have monthly problems too, and people still want to spend time with them.”

Remus punched Sirius gently on the shoulder and stood up, “Yeah, but I don't think a bit of blood is the same thing as turning into a great, hulking beast that wants to eat you.”

Sirius laughed and aimed his wand at the TV.

“Expelliarmus!” Remus shouted before Sirius could turn the TV on. He caught the wand expertly as it spun towards him. Sirius looked offended and held his hand out for his wand. Remus shook his head and gestured to the room, “Clean this mess and then you can have your wand back.”

“Tosser.” Sirius muttered under his breath. Remus pretended he hadn't heard and walked into the kitchen. Just before he left the room, he saw Sirius force himself up from the couch with a groan.

After grabbing a bottle of pumpkin juice from the fridge, Remus made his way up the stairs. He turned right on the landing. Outside his bedroom door, he shut his eyes and counted to ten, bracing himself for the lecture that was about to come.

The _you can't be so picky, Remus_ lecture. The _you have to settle down, Remus_ lecture. The _even though you're only nineteen and totally in love with your best friend, you need to find a boy who's actually interested in you, Remus_ lecture.

Remus palmed the door open and stepped in, sipping at his pumpkin juice. Sat at the desk, reading The Daily Prophet was Hope Lupin. She turned to face the door when Remus walked in and smiled expectantly. Remus smiled back at her quickly, before shaking his head. She looked disappointed to say the least, “Remus, you can't keep saying no to every boy I set you up with.”

She turned the chair to face Remus, and picked an invisible thread off her cardigan, “What was wrong with this one?”

“He was so boring!” Remus exclaimed.

“Boring is good! Boring is stable!” Hope said.

Remus took another mouthful of pumpkin juice, suddenly wishing it was firewhiskey.

“I think you bring enough excitement to the relationship, don't you?” Hope asked.

Remus moved to sit on the bed, sighing. She was right, in a way. He did need someone stable, but why did that mean they had to be boring? Couldn't he have someone like Sirius?

Remus laughed at his own thoughts. Sirius Black was anything but stable.

“Mum, I...” Remus paused. He wanted to tell his mum he didn't want to date. Wanted to explain to her that the werewolf thing – who he was – meant anyone close to him was in danger. He didn't want to risk getting close to someone who ditched him the moment they found out about his secret. He didn't want to risk anyone's life.

But he didn't want to disappoint her either. Hope so badly wanted Remus to be happy, and in a normal relationship, he couldn't bare to discourage her. He needed an out. He needed an excuse-

A bang sounded from downstairs interrupting Remus's thoughts. He pushed his fringe out of his eyes, it was probably Sirius acting like a child and...

_Sirius._

Something in Remus's mind suddenly clicked. He smiled, “I'm dating Sirius.”

Judging by the parade of boys Hope had set Remus up with, over the past few months, Sirius wasn't her idea of boyfriend material. Her idea of boyfriend material was: boring, incredibly dull, not at all interesting, and blond. None of which applied to Sirius Black.

Still, her face lit up with glee the moment the lie left his mouth. Remus was pulled into an excessively tight hug, and cringed. He'd have to get to Sirius as soon as possible, and brief him. Remus cringed further at the thought of that conversation.

“ _Hey, Sirius, do you mind kissing me in front of my mum? As friends though, I'm not in love with you or anything...”_

Remus pulled out of his mum's grip, and she swiped a tear from her eye. Remus shuffled awkwardly.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Hope asked, smiling. 

“Erm... Because... I... Sirius is shy and...” Remus grimaced, and ran a hand across his face. Wearily, he finished, “We were waiting for it to be official.”

“Oh Remus! I'm so happy!” If Hope could see Remus's discomfort she didn't let on. Instead, she neatened the messy hair on Remus's head lovingly.

“Yeah, so I'm going to go and make dinner...” Remus said, extracting himself from his mum's arms. She was grinning so widely, Remus thought she might be having a breakdown. He backed towards the door, fiddling with the lid from his pumpkin juice. Out in the hallway, he shut the door behind him and took a deep breath. He stared blankly at the walls. The realisation of what he'd just done came crashing down.

What the hell had he just done?

_Remus Lupin you are one massive idiot._

Remus downed the remainder of his pumpkin juice, again wishing that it was firewhiskey. There was probably some firewhiskey in their house, he did live with Sirius after all. But he knew he couldn't get drunk right now, he had to get to Sirius. He could get drunk after.

He turned and sprinted down the stairs, almost tripping down several times. He burst through the living room door, and Sirius leapt up from the couch, “I'm doing it, I'm doing it!” He said, picking up an empty glass.

“You're my boyfriend.” Remus blurted out, quickly cursing himself.

Sirius drew his brows together, and stared at Remus. Nonplussed, he asked, “Since when?”

“I don't know why I did it. I just needed a lie and then there was a bang and oh Merlin, fuck,” Remus said, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, and pacing the room, “It just happened, and I'm sorry. I'll tell her the truth in a minute. Oh Merlin, she's going to kill me.”

Remus felt hands grip his shoulders and hold him in place. When he removed his hands from his eyes, he saw Sirius stood directly in front of him, looking incredibly lost. Sirius was so close, Remus could feel the warmth radiating off him. His grey eyes were enchanting, Remus felt himself relaxing in Sirius's hands.

“Moony, what the hell are you talking about?” Sirius asked, shaking Remus gently.

“I told my mum we were dating.” Remus whispered. Maybe if he said it quietly enough, it would stop being true...

“You told your mum we were dating.” Sirius stated. It didn't sound like a question, more like Sirius was just confirming what Remus had said to himself. Remus felt his knees wobble slightly. Sirius was so going to freak out. Any minute now he'd ask Remus what the fuck was wrong with him, and didn't he know Sirius was straight!

It's a good thing Remus had Sirius's wand because he didn't feel like he could run away from curses right now.

Remus silently begged Sirius to say something. He begged himself to say something. To explain that he didn't actually have feelings for Sirius – he just needed his mum to stop setting him up on dates. It was absolutely nothing to do with the swirling feeling inside Remus's chest every time Sirius said his name, or the warmth that spread right down to his toes when Sirius came downstairs in his boxers. No, absolutely nothing to do with that.

Just when Remus was about start vomiting out some kind of explanation, and probably end up digging himself deeper into this hole, Sirius started laughing. Actually laughing. He dropped his hold on Remus, still laughing to himself. Remus felt one corner of his mouth tug up at the sound. Maybe Sirius was having a breakdown as well as Hope.

“You... You... Told your mum...” Sirius choked out between laughs. Remus waited, getting ready for the explosion that would no doubt follow.

Eventually, Sirius composed himself. After one final laugh, he looked up at Remus, and shrugged, “Okay.”

“Okay what?” Remus asked, nervously.

“I'll be your boyfriend.” Remus almost choked, but Sirius didn't seem to notice, “Well, fake boyfriend, whatever.”

“I wasn't asking...” Remus squeaked.

Sirius nudged Remus's shoulder, “I know, but your mum's staying here for the week, isn't she?” Remus nodded mutely, and Sirius continued, “Then we'll need to act like... Well, you know.”

If Remus didn't know better, he'd think Sirius looked embarrassed, but after eight years of friendship, Remus knew Sirius had no concept of embarrassment. The look on Sirius's face was probably just suppressed amusement at Remus's own embarrassment.

“Um... Okay....” Remus said hesitantly.

A grin broke out on Sirius's face, “So when should we have sex?”

Remus felt his cheeks flush. Sirius burst into laughter again, and threw an arm over Remus's shoulder, “I'm kidding, Moony. You're so easy to embarrass. I promise I'll keep my hands to myself.” Sirius ducked his head and whispered in Remus's ear, “Unless you'd rather I didn't.”

Remus yanked his body away from Sirius, and glared at him. Hoping his anger could mask his arousal. He could still feel where Sirius's breath had tickled his ear. He knew the flirting meant nothing though, Sirius flirted with everyone – _everyone._

“I've made a huge mistake.” Remus muttered as he wandered into the kitchen, trying to get the image of Sirius's hands out of his head.

 


	2. What Would You Do For Five Galleons?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> betting, bullying, and blushing

**Sirius**

Hope walked in seconds after Moony had left. Sirius barely had time to compose himself. He didn't really understand what had happened between him and Moony, and what being his fake boyfriend would entail, but Moony had seemed so relieved when Sirius had agreed. Plus, Sirius was sure he could use this to his advantage. He wasn't sure how exactly, but he was thinking something to do with a point system and Moony's blushing.

Hope stepped forward and enveloped Sirius in a hug. He froze for a second, before wrapping one arm around her and patting her awkwardly on the back. It was weird. He wasn't really a hugging person, unless he was trying to get into their pants. And he certainly wasn't trying to get into Moony's mum's pants... Moony, on the other hand...

Sirius shook his head quickly, forcing that thought from his mind.

She pulled away and Sirius quickly put a smile on his face. Hope looked a lot like Moony. She was chubbier than her bony son, but the eyes were the same green. Her hair was a lighter brown than his, and flecked with grey. Her face was round and kind looking. She had the typical “mum-look”, just like James's mum. Absolutely nothing like Sirius's mum.

Sirius felt his face darken, and quickly joked, “Should I start calling you mum?”

“Oh not yet, Sirius.” Hope laughed. She added, sincerely, “I'm so glad he found you.”

Moony appeared at the door then, holding a jar of pasta sauce. His eyes darted nervously between Sirius and Hope, before he relaxed into a smile. Sirius could tell it was forced. “I'm glad he found me too.” Sirius said, smiling broadly at Moony.

Moony narrowed his eyes at Sirius behind Hope's back. Sirius spotted no sign of blushing on his face, he'd have to try harder. Moony brushed invisible dust off his top and cleared his throat, “I'm thinking pasta for dinner?”

“No, darling, don't be stupid.” Sirius grinned. _Darling._ That was sure to work, Sirius knew from fourth year – when Moony and some boy from Hufflepuff had had a thing - that Moony hated pet names. Sure enough, the moment Sirius said the word, a pink tinge blossomed on Moony's face.

_That's one point to me._

“We'll go out for dinner.” Sirius said, he sidestepped Hope and walked towards Moony. He paused just in front of him and smiled easily. Moony narrowed his eyes at him slightly. Sirius knew he was suspicious, probably expecting Sirius to embarrass him in some other way, and Sirius wasn't about to let him down. He reached out and entwined their fingers, watching the pink in Moony's cheeks turn darker. Moony had long fingers and Sirius could feel the rough, raised skin of a few scars in his palm.

“I like to treat my boyfriend.” Sirius added just loud enough for Hope to hear, mentally giving himself another point.

“Dinner out sounds like a lovely idea, Sirius!” Hope said. She glanced down at her outfit and pulled a face, “I'll get changed.”

Sirius pulled Moony away from the door to allow Hope past. Once they saw her disappear into Moony's room, Moony yanked his hand away from Sirius and turned on him. Glaring, he hissed, “What the hell are you doing?”

“I'm being your boyfriend.” Sirius said innocently.

“You're purposefully trying to embarrass me.” Moony stated angrily, crossing his arms across his chest.

Sirius made an offended noise and placed his hand on his heart, in mock anger he asked, “How dare you!” Moony didn't look amused and Sirius smirked, dropping his hand, “What's the matter, Moony? I thought you wanted me to be your boyfriend.”

Sirius closed the gap between them in a few steps, effectively trapping Moony between himself and the kitchen door. He leaned forward, until his face was only an inch away from Moony's. He could feel his breath on his cheek. Sirius could easily close the gap, easily press his lips to Moony's.

Moony unfolded his arms and attempted to push Sirius away, but Sirius grabbed his wrists firmly in one hand. Sirius trailed his free hand down Moony's side, watching Moony squirm as he tickled him. Sirius's hand paused at the waistband of Moony's jeans.

He saw a flash of panic in his friend's eye, and his smirk dissolved into laughter. This was going to be fun. Just before he released Moony's wrists, Sirius grabbed his wand out of his pocket.

“You're a tosser, Black.” Moony cursed, before stomping up the stairs to get changed, pasta sauce still in hand.

“That's three points to me and none to you, you need to up your game, Moony.” Sirius called after his retreating friend.

In response, Moony stuck his middle finger up at Sirius, without turning around.

Sirius laughed and jogged up the stairs. He walked into his own room and paused, glancing at the piles and piles of clothes on his floor. Tapping an odd rhythm on his leg with his fingers, he tried to think of what he could wear. What do you wear to a date with your fake boyfriend and his mother?

He got down on his knees and rooted through the first pile. At the dinner, Sirius would get to ten points way before Moony would even get one. No one embarrassed as easily as Moony did, especially not Sirius. He smiled to himself, poor Moony had no idea what was coming for him.

After throwing clothes around the room, Sirius found a white shirt he hadn't worn in centuries. He used his wand to get rid of the wrinkles and quickly changed into it. He glanced at the jeans he was wearing, they were relatively clean, he didn't need to change them. Finally he needed a tie, or something. Is that what boyfriends do? Wear ties?

_Merlin's balls, I'm shit at this._

Sirius rubbed a hand over his face, and back through his hair. He wasn't even Moony's real boyfriend, why was he getting so worked up over this? He didn't even bother to wear shirts for girls he was sleeping with. But then again, Moony was more important than some nameless girl who made her way into Sirius's bed.

A tentative knock sounded at his door, and Sirius quickly glanced at his reflection. He looked like a tosser. The last time he'd worn a shirt was when he was in Hogwarts – maybe this shirt was his school shirt. He undid the top button and then redid it, before undoing it again. No matter what he did, he still looked like a dick.

“Come in.” He called.

Moony poked his head in and opened his mouth to speak. Instead of saying whatever he'd came to say, he froze, his eyes trailing up and down Sirius.

Sirius pulled a face and turned back to his reflection, “I know, I look like a tosser.”

“No, you look...” Moony trailed off, before clearing his throat and stepping into the room. Sirius watched him step between the piles of clothes, and had to admit, he cleaned up well. He wore a navy short-sleeved shirt with all the buttons done up, dark jeans and smart shoes. Sirius looked down at his scruffy trainers self consciously. How Hope believed Moony would go for someone like him was beyond him.

Not that Sirius wanted to be Moony's boyfriend, of course.

It was just blatantly obvious that Moony was too good for him.

“A-ha!” Moony exclaimed, pulling a black tie from one of the piles of clothes. He walked over to Sirius and waved it at him, “I knew you still had it.”

“Is that a tie?” Sirius said, drawing his brows together, “Since when do I own a tie?”

“Since you _borrowed_ it off me to impress that girl.” Moony waved his hand dismissively, “Anyway, it'll make that shirt look better. Come here.” Sirius hesitated. “Come on!” Moony ordered.

Sirius stepped forward, dodging a pizza box. Moony closed the distance between them and threw his hands over Sirius's shoulders. Sirius tried to keep his thoughts innocent, usually when people have their arms over his shoulders like this he was kissing them, or trailing his tongue down their neck while his hands... Sirius snapped his eyes away from Moony's neck, ignoring the spreading heat through his chest.

Moony seemed oblivious to the thoughts in Sirius's head, he popped Sirius's collar up, and wrapped the black tie around his neck. Sirius watched his nimble fingers tie the tie quickly. He tried not to think about how close Moony was, or how he could smell the peppermint shower gel he used.

When Moony was done, Sirius all but leapt away from him. Moony didn't seem to mind, he took in Sirius's look and Sirius shuffled his feet nervously.

“You look great, Sirius.” Moony said sincerely. Sirius opened his mouth to reply but no words came out. Moony was looking at him so weirdly, like this was the first time he'd seen Sirius in so long, and Sirius felt heat rush up his neck. Then all of a sudden, the look on Moony's face disappeared and in a smug voice, he said, “One point to me.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him, relief and something else – that was definitely _not_ disappointment – flooded through him, and Moony walked past. Holding the door open, he said, “Come on, my mum's waiting for us.”

“It's still three to one, I'm so gonna to win.” Sirius said, following Moony into the hallway.

“No, you're not.” Moony said.

“Five galleons says I'll get to ten before you.”

“Deal.”

*******

Dessert had arrived and so far the score stood at nine:six to Sirius. There had been subtle dick jokes, some not so subtle dick jokes, pet names and even hand holding, but Sirius had stayed in the lead most of the time. He only needed one more point. He dug his fork into his chocolate cake and wondered how to get the final point. He felt like he should do something big for the final point, but couldn't think of what.

Maybe a kiss? He glanced up at Moony. Some raspberry sorbet had escaped Moony's mouth and Sirius watched his tongue dart out to catch it. For a brief, half a second, Sirius had felt the strange urge to catch the sorbet with his own mouth. He blamed it on the wine. When Moony caught him looking, Sirius glanced away faster than was necessary.

_Okay,_ he thought to himself, _no kissing. Moony's lips are off limits. No matter how kissable and soft- Focus Sirius!_

Maybe he could start a game of footsie? No, he had kept his trainers on and didn't want to get mud all over Moony's jeans.

He sighed to himself. He needed this point.

Thankfully, an answer came in the form of a question asked by Hope Lupin. Swallowing a mouthful of lemon drizzle cake, she asked, “So, Sirius, how did you two meet?”

Sirius smiled, an elaborate lie already forming in his head. Before he could even open his mouth though, Moony had already answered, “We shared a dorm, mum, remember?”

Sirius put his fork into his mouth and ate more cake. He'd get this point, no matter how much Moony tried to stop it. Sirius was thinking about spoon-feeding Moony his cake, when Hope rolled her eyes and said, “I know you shared a dorm, Remus. I meant, how did this,” she waved a hand between them, “happen?”

Sirius spoke before Moony even had a chance to swallow his sorbet, “It was in seventh year.”

Now that he'd started speaking, he had no idea where this story was going to take him, but he went with it anyway. He couldn't risk Moony getting a word in and getting more points. Maybe somewhere along the way he'd make Moony blush.

“It was Christmas break and we'd all decided to stay at Hogwarts to... erm...” Sirius hesitated, they'd stayed over during Christmas break, in seventh year, to finally try and build a living snowman the size of the castle, but somehow he didn't think Hope would appreciate that.

“To catch up on work.” Moony offered, helpfully.

Sirius nodded at him, “Yeah, to catch up on work. Anyway, it was Christmas Eve and we were...” Again Sirius found he couldn't continue his story. He was going to say _it was Christmas Eve and we were all black out drunk_ but Hope probably wouldn't appreciate that either.

“Doing our potions homework.” Moony finished again, eating some of his sorbet, barely containing his smile.

“Yes, potions homework.” Sirius said, stifling a laugh, “Me and Moo- I mean _Remus_ were sat on his bed, and I was very... _into my potions homework_ , but he was more... _into his potions homework._ ” Sirius could hear this story getting more and more disjointed as he went on. Maybe it was the candlelight or maybe not, but if Sirius looked close enough he could see a slight pink tinge to Moony's cheeks.

He was also staring a little too intently at his sorbet, Sirius guessed he was remembering the story – the true story. Sirius finished, “And long story short, Remus kissed me.”

“Whoa!” Moony said, snapping his head up to look at Sirius. Sirius could definitely see the red on his cheeks now and mentally gave himself another point. Moony aimed his spoon at Sirius, “You kissed me.”

Sirius laughed, “No, you kissed me. I remember.”

Hope laughed and looked between them happily. Sirius winked at her. He knew the true story well, and he had been the one to kiss Moony. He had been drunk and Moony had looked so cute in his untucked shirt and loose tie. Really, blackout drunk was a good look on Moony.

But he wasn't going to admit that here and now was he? Not when he could win five galleons.

“You liar! You kissed me and you know it!” Moony said through a smile.

Sirius grinned, and leaned back in his chair, his neck cracking, “You can't prove anything.”

Moony smiled back, his whole face lighting up when Sirius winked at him. Sirius ate the final mouthful of his cake, feeling warmth in his chest – it was probably the wine and the chocolate, and nothing to do with the way Moony was looking at him.

Hope stood up and excused herself to the bathroom. When she disappeared, Sirius leaned over the table towards Moony. He smelt like wine and peppermint, a surprisingly nice combination. Sirius moved towards Moony's ears, his lips accidentally bumping the lobe and whispered, “That's five galleons to me.”

The tips of Moony's ears tinged pink.

 


	3. Sirius's One Rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is pathetic, Hope is oblivious, Prongs and Lily make an appearance, and Sirius spends a lot of time in his boxers.

**Remus**

 

Remus deserved this. He deserved Sirius's torturous flirting. It was punishment for lying to his mother, and he certainly shouldn't have been enjoying it as much as he was. Sirius was so good at pretending to be his boyfriend, Remus could almost believe it. Right now, in the taxi, Sirius was holding his hand.

He couldn't have been doing it to make Remus blush, since Sirius had won that bet earlier. He wasn't doing it to impress Hope, since she was in the front seat and couldn't see them unless she turned around. Which lead Remus to wonder why, exactly, he was doing it. The answer didn't really matter, it wouldn't stop him from stroking his thumb across Sirius's hand.

A small part of him begged him to believe Sirius liked him. Because he could, couldn't he? It wasn't completely out of the question...

Except Sirius was straight. And sure, there had been that kiss in seventh year, but they had been drunk and it doesn't count when you're drunk, everyone knows that. Nothing had ever come of it.

Remus sighed. He should release Sirius's hand. He should tell Sirius to stop, because it wasn't fair. He had no idea that he was leading Remus on like he was. No doubt, if he knew about Remus's feelings he wouldn't be doing this. It'd be too weird for him.

Remus sighed again. Sirius turned to look at him, but thankfully he was saved from explaining his repetitive sighing by the taxi stopping outside their house. Remus smiled, disentangled his hand and opened the door.

“You can pay.” Remus said over his shoulder, “Since you love to treat your boyfriend.”

Sirius laughed softly and leant forward in his seat, handing muggle money over to the taxi driver. They'd ended up getting a taxi after Hope had declared them too drunk to apparate home. In truth, him and Sirius weren't even drunk, they'd only had a few glasses of wine each – they'd drank more firewhiskey in an hour than they'd drank wine tonight. Remus knew his mum just hated apparating, she'd looked a bit queasy when they'd arrived in the restaurant.

Remus whispered “Prongs is a Tosser” to the hand shaped door knocker, which promptly stuck it's thumb up and allowed Remus to open the door. He rolled his eyes, like he did every time he let Sirius choose the door's new password.

He stepped inside, followed by Hope and then Sirius. He hooked his jacket on the coat rack and glanced at his watch, half eleven. Sirius shook out of his leather jacket and dropped it on the floor. At the annoyed look on Remus's face, he winked. Remus felt his cheeks heat up. Really, this blushing thing was getting out of hand.

Hope pressed a kiss to Remus and Sirius's cheeks before saying, “Night boys. It was lovely getting to know you, Sirius.”

“You too, Mrs. Lupin.” Sirius said, making Remus roll his eyes again.

When Hope disappeared up the stairs, Remus turned to Sirius and mocked, “You too, Mrs. Lupin.”

“Shut up.” Sirius said, laughing. He wandered towards the stairs and Remus followed him, yawning as he went. Sirius turned into his room, pulling his tie over his head, and Remus went into the bathroom.

He looked at his reflection, his hair was messy and his cheeks seemed permanently tinged pink. He looked like a love-sick teenager, it was ridiculous. He rolled his eyes at his reflection and ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to neaten it. He gave up, squeezed some toothpaste onto his brush and stuck it in his mouth.

As he brushed his teeth, his mind wandered to Sirius. He'd looked so good in his shirt and tie. In fairness, Sirius looked good in anything. From his leather jacket to his shirt and tie to his-

Remus's thoughts were cut off abruptly when Sirius walked in. He wore nothing but his boxers. Which Remus had to admit, Sirius also looked good in. Exceptionally good, in fact. Remus looked at Sirius in the mirror, his eyes trailing over the faint hint of abs on his stomach, and the small trail of black hair starting at his belly button and going all the way down to his... Remus gulped and almost choked on his toothpaste. Sirius looked at him questioningly, Remus just shook his head and kept brushing his teeth.

Sirius squeezed some toothpaste onto his own toothbrush, and met Remus's eyes in the mirror, “So, I've been thinking.”

Remus spat into the sink, “That's never good.”

“Ha-ha.” Sirius said sarcastically, “I've been thinking, since your mum is in your room, where are you sleeping?”

Remus paused. He turned and met Sirius's eyes. The two of them both turned to look at Sirius's bedroom door, visible through the open bathroom door. Remus snapped his head back to the mirror, sticking his brush under the tap, the glow of blush already visible in his cheeks. Without looking at Sirius he said, “I'll sleep on the couch.”

Remus risked a glance at Sirius's reflection. If Remus didn't know better he'd think Sirius looked disappointed as he stuck his toothbrush in his mouth, but Remus did know better, and he wouldn't let the wine in his system trick him.

Instead he placed his toothbrush back into it's holder and all but ran from the bathroom. He couldn't bare to watch Sirius move his toothbrush in and out of his mouth, while wearing nothing but red boxers, any longer. He walked down the stairs, cursing his own feelings.

He walked into the living room and glared at the mess. There was no way he could sleep in this room. Maybe some cleaning would tire him enough, so that he'd be able to sleep without imagining sleeping next to Sirius... In his bed... While he wears those damn boxers...

_Remus Lupin, you are so pathetic._

*******

Remus's first thought when he woke up was a confirmation that yes, he was very pathetic. He rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes. He promised himself that for as long as he lived, he would never, ever, repeat the dream he'd just had, but that didn't mean he had to forget about it. Not that he would have been able to had he tried.

He glanced at his watch. It was only eight in the morning, but he had to make sure he was up before his mum was. If she caught him sleeping down here and not in Sirius's bed, she'd probably have a few questions to ask.

He had ended up sleeping in last night's clothes, because his pajamas were in his room with his mum. The collar was tight around his neck and he was wholly uncomfortable. He couldn't go get dressed yet though so instead he forced himself up, ignoring his protesting back, and stumbled into the kitchen. His lower back ached with every step and he wasn't sure he'd be able to survive the rest of the week on that couch.

As he was eating his cereal, his mum came down the stairs. She smiled at him, her eyes hovering too long on his wrinkled clothes. Remus felt his cheeks heat up and kept his eyes focused on his cereal. Merlin knows what his mother was thinking right now.

“Morning.” He said.

“Where's Sirius?” She asked, making herself a cup of tea.

“He's not a morning person.” Remus laughed, “I'd give it another few hours before we're graced with his presence.”

Hope laughed and sat opposite Remus, sipping her tea. She pinned him with a questioning look and he suddenly wished he was still asleep. It was too early in the morning to answer whatever question about his and Sirius's relationship she had. He wasn't the good liar, Sirius was.

“You and him...” She started, and Remus stuffed another spoonful of cereal into his mouth to hide his grimace, “Make a cute couple.” She finished. Remus didn't know what he was supposed to say to that, he just nodded.

They fell into silence and Remus sensed that wasn't the end of the conversation. In her mind, Sirius was Remus's first real boyfriend, and Remus so wished that was true. She opened her mouth to say something but thankfully, she was cut off by the sound of something tapping on glass.

Remus stood up and placed his empty bowl in the sink. He walked to the mirror hooked on the wall. In front of him an image materialised that wasn't his reflection.

“Hey, Moony.” James said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Morning, Prongs.” Remus said, with a mock salute.

“Can we come over?” James asked.

Remus nodded and James's image disappeared from the mirror. Ten seconds later there was a loud CRACK behind Remus and he jumped. He'd been expecting it, but James still had a habit of scaring him. He turned around and glared at James as he laughed. Lily had a small smile on her face too.

“Happy Birthday!” Remus exclaimed as Lily pulled him into a hug. When she let him go he gestured to his mum, “James you've met my mum. Lily, this is Hope.”

"Hello again, Mrs. Lupin.” James said, smiling at Hope.

“Hello James.” Hope said standing up. She offered her hand to Lily, “So nice to meet you Lily.”

“Can you apparate when you're pregnant?” Remus asked, glancing down nervously at Lily's stomach.

“Before six months, yes.” Lily said. In a slightly bossy voice she added, “Now go wake Black up, I need to give you instructions for tonight.”

Remus nodded. An owl flew in through the window to deliver The Daily Prophet to Hope, she sat back down with her tea and opened the first page. James and Lily went into the lounge and Remus went upstairs, hoping that Sirius had chosen to sleep in more clothes and definitely not less.

He knocked on Sirius's bedroom door, but of course there was no response. He pushed it open tentatively. Sirius was spread out on his bed, half under his covers. And he was not wearing more clothes than he had been last night. Lucky for Remus, he'd chosen to keep his boxers on. Remus still felt heat rise up his neck as he stepped into the room and approached Sirius's bed. He approached like Sirius was a wild animal about to attack him; which wasn't entirely out of the question when Sirius was forced to wake up before noon.

He poked Sirius's arm, elliciting a grunt from his friend but nothing more. Remus sighed. He poked his arm again, “Wake up, Padfoot.”

Sirius grunted again, and shuffled his arm away. Remus glanced around the room for a glass of water, but found none. Instead, he punched Sirius gently in the arm. When Sirius didn't even grunt this time, Remus gripped his shoulders and began to shake him gently. “Wakey wakey Padfoot.” He sang.

“I will kill you.” Sirius growled, hands snatching out to grab Remus's hands. Sirius's grip softened, his hands ghosting over Remus's. In his half-asleep state, Sirius's finger dipped into the space between Remus's thumb and forefinger, hooking under the palm.

“Prongs and Evans are downstairs.” Remus stated in a slightly high voice. He looked at their hands for a second longer, before reluctantly pulling away from Sirius's. Barely noticing the absence of Remus's hands in his, Sirius shielded his eyes from the sunlight streaming through the window.

“What time is it?” He asked, squinting up at Remus through his dark eyelashes.

“About ten past eight.”

Sirius looked horrified, “What the fuck is wrong with you people? I have one rule, Moony! One! And you broke it!”

“Someone's grumpy.” Remus laughed.

Sirius glared at him. Remus expertly dodged the pillow that was launched at his head.

“Fine, fine, I'll go back downstairs. But Lily will probably want to speak to you herself, and you know how angry she can be now that she's pregnant...” Remus said, taking a few steps back.

Sirius hesitated. He kept his eyes on Remus before finally sighing and pushing the covers off himself. Remus quickly averted his eyes from Sirius's boxers, especially since they'd hitched up on one side, during the night, and were flashing an excessive amount of thigh. Remus pretended to be distracted by a pigeon outside the window.

Sirius pushed himself off the bed, his face splitting into a yawn. He walked towards the door, towards Remus, and Remus held his hands out quickly, “Erm, aren't you going to get dressed?”

Sirius looked down at himself as though realising for the first time he wasn't wearing clothes. Remus laughed at the confused look on his face. Sirius snapped his head up to smirk lasciviously at him, “Don't you like me like this?”

Remus's mouth went suddenly dry. Why did Sirius have to look at him like that?

“Get dressed.” Remus said, rolling his eyes. He left the room, hoping that Sirius hadn't mastered legilimency during the night.

 


	4. Tea, Coffee, and Firewhiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius pisses off Lily, makes his fake boyfriend some tea, pisses off Lily some more, and uses Remus as shield.

**Sirius**

 

Sirius ducked into the kitchen. He smiled at Hope, who smiled back before returning to The Daily Prophet. Underneath her copy of the wizard newspaper was a muggle newspaper.

He flicked the kettle on and waited for it to boil. Grabbing his favourite mug from the cupboard, his hand hovered over Moony's favourite mug. He cast a sidelong glance at Hope, he was supposed to be Moony's boyfriend. Boyfriends make their boyfriends tea, right?

He pulled out both his and Moony's mugs, he put a teabag in Moony's and a spoonful of instant coffee into his own. The kettle clicked off and he made both his and Moony's drinks, remembering that Moony likes two sugars in his tea, and a lot of milk.

He grabbed the mugs. He was good at this, he didn't know why he had never tried being a boyfriend before. Well, there had been that one time but that hadn't ended well.

He bumped the lounge door open with his hip and stepped in. Hope followed behind him, apparently done with the newspaper. He let her take the only remaining free seat and, like the loving boyfriend he was, he perched on the arm of Moony's chair, holding out the mug for him. Moony took it with a confused look and sipped it, as though expecting it to be spiked with a potion of some kind.

Sirius grinned at Prongs. Evans narrowed her eyes, but he caught one corner of her lip curling upwards. She could pretend to hate him all she wanted, but he knew she loved him just as much as Prongs did.

Well, maybe not that much, but it was close.

“What's times the party tonight then, Evans?” Sirius asked, after a mouthful of coffee.

“Eight. You two are not allowed to be late, and _yes_ that includes you, Black!” She ordered, narrowing her eyes at him. Sirius made an offended noise and she rolled her eyes, “You're always late and Remus is always early, I'm hoping together you'll finally manage to be on time.”

“We do balance each other out.” Sirius smiled, brushing Moony's hair off his forehead. Moony froze under his touch and Sirius suddenly realised what he was doing. He quickly yanked his hand away, liked he'd been burned. He turned to look at Prongs and Evans sheepishly. Hope was smiling at them, Prongs was staring at him looking perplexed, and Evans was looking between the two of them questioningly.

“What the-”

Prongs was cut off by Moony, “Mum, I need your opinion on Lily's birthday present.” He jumped up, handed his half drunk tea to Sirius and lead his mum into the kitchen. With a quick look at Sirius, Sirius guessed he was supposed to explain everything to Prongs and Evans.

Sirius looked back at him, with an expression he hoped said, “Thanks mate.” sarcastically.

When the door closed behind Moony and Hope, Prongs started again, “What the hell was that?”

Sirius laughed to himself, placing his and Moony's mugs to the floor. Prongs had the same look on his face he'd had that time in seventh year, when he'd caught him and Moony kissing. He'd asked repeatedly if Sirius had feelings for Moony, and Sirius had always given the same answer – _it doesn't count when you're drunk._

It was easier to say that, than to give any actual thought to Prongs's question.

“Moony and I are fake dating.” Sirius said, before he could think about his feelings for Moony any further.

“Fake dating?” Evans asked, her eyebrow arching up. He recognised the look, it was the look she always gave when she was about to lecture them. Fondly called “The Eyebrow of Doom” by Prongs. Called a number of other things by Sirius, not quite as fondly.

“Fake dating.” Sirius confirmed.

“What does that even mean!” Prongs asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. He looked panicked, like he'd just been told his two best friends had murdered someone, and weren't just pretending to fuck every night. The image of fucking Moony appeared quickly in Sirius's mind and he had to push it out fast, before his cock decided now would be a good time to make it's appearance.

“It means,” Sirius said, sliding down to sit in the chair Remus had vacated, “That Moony and I are pretending to be a couple, but we aren't actually a couple. I mean Moony's great, and he'd make a great-” Sirius coughed and cleared his throat, he looked at the floor, “We're just pretending.”

Prongs drew his brows together in an overly confused look. It looked like someone was trying to explain muggle maths to him in Latin. Sirius scoffed. Evans, on the other hand, seemed to be searching Sirius's face for something. He looked back at her, until she finally narrowed her eyes at him. Without turning to face her husband, she said, “James, go get me a glass of water.”

“But I-” 

“Please, sweetie.” She said, smiling at him innocently. He smiled back, pecked her on the cheek and went into the kitchen too. 

Sirius pulled a disgusted face when the door swung shut, “You've got him whipped.”

“If you hurt Remus I will murder you.” Evans growled, aiming her wand at him.

Sirius raised his hands in surrender, “Whoa! Whoa! Why would I hurt Moony?”

She didn't lower her wand. Sirius kept his hands up in surrender, Evans had always been scary, but with the pregnancy she'd become about ten percent scarier. He didn't believe she'd kill him, but he also didn't doubt she'd put him through some serious pain.

Which begs the question, why did she think he'd hurt Moony?

“Why do you think I would?” He asked.

She stuffed her wand back into her pocket, “Because you're both idiots and this plan is going to fall apart.”

“Your lack of faith hurts me.” Sirius joked, as the door opened and Prongs, Moony and Hope returned. Moony threw a questioning look at him and Sirius just nodded. Everyone returned to their seats, and Hope began talking to Lily about her pregnancy. Moony paused in front of Sirius expectantly.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“You're in my seat.” Moony said, pointing at the chair.

“No, I think I am your seat.” Sirius corrected smugly, gesturing to his lap.

“If you think I'm going to sit in your lap, you're stupider than you look.” Moony whispered angrily, before perching on the arm of the chair like Sirius had. Sirius laughed, partly at Moony's anger and partly at the confused horror on Prongs's face

*******

“At least we don't have to act like a couple tonight.” Sirius said, when they arrived outside Prongs and Evans's house at eight o'clock exactly.

“Yeah.” Moony said quietly, picking at the bow on Evans's present. Hope had decided not to come to Lily's party, so they were free from the restraints of Moony's lie.

Sirius dropped his cigarette to the ground and stomped it out. He leaned close to Moony, the peppermint smell was extra strong after his shower an hour ago and Sirius couldn't help but breathe it in, lowering his voice he whispered, “Unless you want to.”

Moony turned pink under the streetlights, and Sirius laughed when he was forcefully shoved away. He caught himself just before he fell into Lily's flower bed.

“You already won the bet.” Moony complained, stamping towards the door and knocking louder than he had to, “Stop trying to embarrass me.”

Sirius stuffed his hands into his jacket and stood behind Moony. “It's my favourite thing to do though.” He breathed into Moony's neck, making the short hairs there dance. He heard Moony sigh wearily and smiled to himself. The strange urge to wrap his arms around Moony's waist and press into his body floated into Sirius's mind.

He stamped it down just as Evans opened the door and glanced at her watch, “Well done, you're on time for once.”

“That dress really shows off your baby bump.” Sirius said, with an earsplitting grin.

Her face darkened and she shouted at him in a voice like thunder, “I'M ONLY TWO MONTHS PREGNANT!”

Sirius burst into laughter. He quickly composed himself, wrapping an arm over Moony's shoulders, and said, “Are you sure? I think it might be twins...”

“I'm not going to save you when she tries to kill you.” Prongs said stifling his laughter, appearing behind Evans. He wrapped one arm around her hip and attempted to pull her away. She glared at Sirius and he smiled back.

Moony handed the present over and it seemed to distract her, allowing him and Sirius to come into the house without losing any of their favourite body parts. They stepped into the house and wiped their shoes on the welcome mat. Sirius followed Moony into the lounge.

It was like a Hogwarts' class of 1978 reunion in the lounge. Sirius recognised nearly everyone, but felt no real need to talk to them. They were probably less than happy to be reunited with three quarters of The Marauders. Only three quarters since Sirius couldn't see Peter amongst the dancing bodies. He made a mental note to ask Prongs about that later.

Evans wandered off to talk to a group of girls. Showing off the dress he and Moony had bought for her – well it had actually been Sirius's idea, since Moony had probably never bought a present for a girl, and probably never would.

Prongs punched Sirius in the arm and ruffled Moony's hair, “How's the relationship boys?”

“Fuck off.” Moony said, ducking his head from Prongs's grip.

“Ooh, trouble in paradise?” Prongs laughed. He seemed less confused than he had earlier today, maybe he'd come to terms with his best mates fake-fucking.

“Hey, stop bullying him, that's my job.” Sirius protested, laughing at Moony's annoyed face.

“Fuck both of you.” Moony said angrily, but the half smile on his face told them he wasn't being serious.

Before he could make a threesome related joke at Moony's expense, Sirius spotted a girl with long brown hair, wearing a skin tight black dress. He ducked quickly behind Moony, placing his hands on his friend's sides to keep him in place. He guessed by the flustered, “What are you doing?” that Moony asked, he was already blushing.

“Gina's over there.” Sirius hissed, pressing his forehead to Moony's back. It was lucky Remus was taller than him, he made a great cover. 

Prongs laughed, “Hiding from a girl, Padfoot?”

“Shut up, Prongs, I've seen you hide from Evans a million times.”

“He still hides from me.” Evans said, and Sirius peered over Moony's shoulder to find her stood at Prong's elbow, laughing at him, “She's gone into the kitchen, you can come out now.”

Sirius smiled sheepishly and stepped out from behind Moony, he brushed his hands over his t-shirt, ignoring everyone smirking at him, “I wasn't hiding...”

Moony rolled his eyes.

Thankfully, Evans had a welcome distraction. She held up a large bottle of firewhiskey and said, “I brought this for-”

“LILY!” Prongs exclaimed, “You're pregnant, what are you doing!”

“I was bringing this for-”

“You can't drink firewhiskey, Lily!” James interrupted again, he snatched the bottle off her, and added smugly, “I guess I'll have to confiscate this.”

Sirius and Moony laughed and she rolled her eyes. She spun on her heels and stormed off, calling over her shoulder, “I was bringing it for you, you idiot.”

One corner of Prongs's mouth curled upwards and he held the firewhiskey up proudly, “So, who wants to get drunk?”

“Shouldn't we wait for Peter?” Moony asked.

Prongs lowered the firewhiskey and shuffled his feet, “He, er, he's still missing.”

“Oh.” Moony said. Sirius felt a hole in his chest. It was weird without Wormtail. They hadn't seen him since they'd graduated. It was like he'd fallen off the face of the earth. He didn't answer his shard of the mirror, or their phonecalls. He had just gone.

Sirius took the bottle out of Prongs's hand and opened it. “I'll drink his share.” He said, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

 


	5. Prettier Than The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is drunk, Sirius is prettier than the night sky, and Lily is disapproving.

**Remus**

 

Remus stumbled into James and Lily's bedroom. He collapsed into the pile of coats on the bed instead of attempting to find his own. The room spun slightly and he squeezed his eyes shut. Him, James and Sirius had gone through too many bottles of firewhiskey to count. Like always, Prongs became even more obnoxious the more he drank, Remus laughed more with each bottle, and Sirius became very touchy-feely. There were at least twelve girls and four boys in the lounge who had been hugged by Sirius. Remus hadn't been spared Sirius's clingy actions, he could still feel Sirius's hands wrapped around his waist as he was hugged from behind.

The thoughts that had ran through his head, when Sirius had been behind him, were definitely not innocent. He was just glad he hadn't drank enough firewhiskey to make him spill his thoughts yet, or things could be much worse.

It had only been two days since Sirius had agreed to be his fake boyfriend and already the feelings Remus had for Sirius had increased. He could hardly look at Sirius without feeling warmth spread through his whole body. It didn't help at all that Sirius seemed to get some kind of kick out of humiliating Remus. Remus had to remind himself that this was all pretend and only for a week.

It didn't matter that Sirius seemed to stand so much closer to him now, and make him cups of tea, or whisper in his ear. It didn't matter. It was all pretend.

_Pretend, pretend, pretend._

Remus sat up slowly when he heard the door open. Sirius was stood at the door, grinning like an idiot. He leant back against the closed door and watched Remus through half closed eyes.

“I can't find my jacket.” Remus said, spreading his arms across the pile of coats below him.

“I don't think that's how you look for a jacket.” Sirius said, his words blurring together slightly.

“No... Me neither.” Remus laughed. He forced himself to stand up, almost falling when the room tipped sideways sickeningly. Sirius stepped forward to steady him but Remus held out his hands, stopping him, “It's okay, I got it... I got it...”

He spun around to face the bed again, his back to Sirius, and rooted through the coats. Throwing them this way and that. He didn't remember putting his jacket on the bed. In fact, he didn't even remember taking his jacket off. Was Sirius wearing his leather jacket?

He glanced over his shoulder and gasped when he saw how close Sirius was. He hadn't heard him move, but he was somehow stood directly behind Remus. He smelt like smoke and firewhiskey, but also warmth and a bit like birthday cake. Remus felt his mouth curve into a soppy smile.

Sirius had taken off his jacket, maybe his was on the bed too... Remus turned his head to look for Sirius's jacket, but Sirius caught his chin between his thumb and forefinger and turned his head back to face him.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked, his voice sounded ridiculously high to himself and he would have been embarrassed, had it not been so hard to concentrate. Sirius had pretty grey eyes. And a strong jaw. He really was beautiful, it was no wonder Remus was in love with him.

“I'm just... I don't actually know.” Sirius said, glancing perplexed at his fingers. He released Remus's chin, but traced the line of Remus's jaw with his forefinger. His touch was feather light and tickly, Remus shivered happily.

Sirius traced his finger down Remus's neck, following it with his eyes. Remus wasn't sure if now was the best time to do this, or even if it was a good idea, but he did it anyway – he leaned his head downwards and pressed his lips to Sirius's.

Sirius's finger stilled. He froze against Remus's lips.

Remus felt his heart thud harder in his chest.

_What the fuck are you doing?_ He asked himself, keeping his lips pressed to Sirius's.

He was about to pull away – about to apologise so many times, even though he knew it would never be enough – when Sirius's lips moved against his. Sirius's finger left Remus's collarbones and both his hands gripped Remus's hips roughly, desperately, pulling him closer. Remus deepened the kiss, and wrapped his own arms around Sirius's shoulders.

He felt Sirius's tongue trail along his bottom lip, he moaned. He opened his mouth and Sirius's tongue explored inside. Like Remus had expected, Sirius tasted like smoke and firewhiskey, and a little like birthday cake. It was great. Remus couldn't hold off his smile and Sirius pulled away slightly, elliciting a groan of complaint from Remus. He laughed softly, and Remus could feel his breath against his lips.

Remus closed the gap between them quickly, his hands entangling in Sirius's hair, pulling gently at the roots. Sirius laughed again, this time against Remus's mouth. His grip tightened on Remus's hips, one hand moving to trail down the curve of Remus's backside.

None of this was fake. It couldn't be. Sure, they were drunk, but Hope wasn't in the room. She wasn't even in the house. Sirius wasn't doing this for her, for their lie. He was doing it because it was Remus, because he wanted to kiss him. Remus felt a glow of warmth in his chest. He could hardly breathe, and the room was spinning around them, but he had never been happier. Never wanted a moment to last so long.

Sadly, though, it ended quickly. Remus had only just began to explore the inside of Sirius's mouth when the door swung open and a female voice called, “I found your- OH MY GOD!”

Remus jumped away from Sirius, the back of his knees hitting the bed and making him fall backwards onto the pile of coats. He covered his face in his hands, it felt warm to the touch and he didn't need a mirror to know he was blushing. Buttons of a jacket were digging into his back but he didn't dare move. Maybe if he stayed still enough he'd disappear, and he wouldn't have to face the two people in the room ever again.

He had just kissed Sirius. Sirius's tongue had just been in his mouth. Did Sirius have feelings for him?

Or was he just really drunk?

Probably the latter.

“I found your jackets.” Lily said in a small voice.

After a pause, Sirius said, his voice slightly hoarse, “Thanks.”

Silence filled the room. There was a shuffle of feet, and a creak as the door was closed. Remus didn't know if he was alone now or if Sirius had stayed. He kept his hands on his face. Not ready to face the reality of what had just happened. He licked his lips, they didn't taste like Sirius, maybe it had all just been an elaborate drunk hallucination. When he moves his hands, he'll be alone and still on the hunt for his jacket.

Except, when he actually moved his hands, Sirius was there, watching him. His lips were darker and slightly plump, and his hair was a mess. Remus licked his lips again, and saw Sirius's tongue dart out and copy him.

“I, uh, I have your jacket.” Sirius offered awkwardly, holding it out at arms length.

“Thanks.” Remus mumbled, accepting the jacket and looking away from Sirius.

The two of them fell into silence again. Not looking at each other. Remus forced himself into a standing position, his legs protesting the movement by shaking slightly. He managed to hold himself up though, and stumble towards the door. He pulled it open and stepped out into the corridor. A hand caught his arm, and held him back before he could go down the stairs.

“Shouldn't we just apparate home?” Sirius asked, glancing nervously away from Remus's gaze.

“Why?”

“Because Lily caught us and she's probably already told James...”

“Oh...” Remus said. It could be that Sirius was ashamed to have kissed him, or it could be Sirius just wanting to avoid the monumental teasing that would no doubt follow. Remus wanted to just apparate home too. Just curl onto the couch and sleep until it was no longer awkward between him and Sirius – until he couldn't feel Sirius's warm hands on his body any longer. But he still said, “No, we have to say goodbye.”

Sirius released his arm and nodded. He put on a confident smile and sidestepped Remus, leading the way downstairs. Remus followed, wishing he had Sirius's ability to move on so fast. They turned into the lounge, where people were hugging and saying goodbye. James jogged over to them and Lily followed, avoiding looking directly at them.

“There you are, I thought you tossers 'ad left without saying goodbye.” James said, pulling Sirius into a hug and then doing the same to Remus, patting his back roughly. He was drunk and loud, and Remus was surprised he hadn't said anything about the kiss yet. He thought it'd be the first thing he said.

Lily stepped forward then and hugged Sirius. By the look on Sirius's face, she had whispered something into his ear. Maybe she hadn't told James yet. She pulled away and Sirius rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, looking down at the floor.

She hugged Remus. In his ear, she whispered, “Don't do anything stupid.”

Remus smiled into her shoulder, and whispered back, “When have I ever?”

She pulled away and pinned him with a disapproving look. He smiled at her, hoping it didn't look as forced as it felt. He felt Sirius grope for his hand, and suddenly he was being squeezed through a really small tunnel. He hadn't realise he'd closed his eyes, until the pressure stopped and all he could see was blackness. His head ached when he reopened them.

“Apparating when drunk is not fun...” Remus muttered, clutching Sirius's hand tighter to keep himself upright.

“Where are we?” Sirius asked, swaying slightly on his feet as he glanced around. Remus looked around them. They were stood on a street he didn't recognise, with similar looking houses lining both sides of the road. Streetlights were dotted strategically down the street, casting a warm orange glow over everything. The wind picked up around them, making Remus shiver slightly. Sirius glanced up at the sky as though he could follow the stars, and muttered, “I was aiming for the house.”

“I think you missed.” Remus said pointlessly.

“Let's go....” Sirius spun around in circles, dragging Remus along with him. He stopped unexpectantly and Remus had to grab his arm to balance himself. He could feel tense muscle beneath Sirius's leather jacket, and he yanked his hand away as though he'd been burned. Sirius pointed ahead of them with the hand holding Remus's, “This way.”

Remus was pulled down the street, not sure if they were even going the right way or not. Sirius was still holding his hand and it was warm against the wind. Remus cast a sidelong glance at Sirius. He was smiling at something, and Remus was struck once again by how handsome he was.

It was because Sirius was so handsome, that Remus didn't see the dip in the path in front of him. Even Sirius's hand couldn't keep Remus upright when he tripped over his own feet. He twisted to try and keep himself up, only to end up smacking the back of his head on the ground. The stars spun in the sky in front of him, and a dull throbbing started in his skull.

“Does the world always spin this fast?” Remus groaned, clutching the path beneath him.

Sirius's face appeared above him, blotting out the stars. Not that Remus minded, he was way better looking than the stars. He looked worried though, which wasn't Remus's favourite look.

“Are you okay?” Sirius asked. Remus smiled and Sirius visibly relaxed, “You're drunk.”

Sirius moved to stand up, and held out a hand for Remus. Remus stared at it uninterestedly. In an urgent sounding voice he said, “No, come back a second.”

“What?” Sirius asked, dropping his hand.

“It's important, just come back.” Remus complained.

Sirius sighed and knelt back down, his head once again blotting out the stars. As quick as he could manage, Remus moved his head up and kissed Sirius. Sirius laughed against his mouth but didn't pull away. When Remus's hands wrapped around Sirius's neck, he wrapped his own arms around Remus's waist and dragged them both up from the ground. Remus felt unstable on his feet, and pulled his lips away from Sirius.

Still being held by Sirius, Remus rested his head on his shoulder, breathing into his neck, “My head hurts.”

“Come on, let's get you home before you start taking my clothes off.” Sirius laughed, keeping one arm around Remus's waist and leading him back down the street.

 


	6. Moony's Melodic Moan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't count when you're drunk. 
> 
> Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST AND ONLY SMUT WARNING

**Sirius**

 

Finally. Their house appeared in front of them. After over ten minutes of walking, they'd finally found their house. Sirius was glad for the walk though, Moony seemed to have sobered up slightly which was good. He was sober enough to walk on his own, but not so sober that he stopped holding Sirius's hand. Sirius smiled to himself, and stroked his thumb across the back of Moony's hand.

He wanted to kiss Moony again. He wanted to kiss every inch of him. Fuck, he just wanted to make him come.

He had never really confronted his feelings for Moony, but now that he had it was clear he'd liked him for way longer than he'd ever admit. It wasn't that he was afraid of telling people he was attracted to both boys and girls – his friends probably already knew – it was more that he was afraid of telling people he was attracted to Moony. He didn't know why. Maybe because out of the few boys Remus had dated, none of them were even remotely like Sirius.

And maybe because the only time Moony shows his love for Sirius is when he's drunk – and it doesn't count when you're drunk.

He cast a side-long glance at Moony. He seemed sober enough. Sirius didn't want to take advantage of his friend, of course. But if he wanted it too...

Sirius looked away quickly. They were approaching the house and Sirius needed to make a decision. Did he want to have sex with Moony and was now the best time? Would he ever get another chance? Did Moony even want him or was it the firewhiskey talking?

Moony whispered the password and unlocked the door. Sirius palmed it open with his free hand and stepped out of the wind. Moony kicked the door shut and stopped, he fixed his gaze on the corner of the carpet. Now was the time for a decision, Sirius realised. He could either release Moony's hand, take off his jacket and go to bed – alone. Or he could kiss Moony. And push him up against the door and take  _his_ jacket off...

Moony avoided Sirius's gaze like a pro, keeping their hands entwined.

Sirius's decision was made. He released Moony's hand.

The hurt look that crossed Moony's face disappeared almost instantly, when Sirius pulled him in for a kiss. There was a sigh of relief against his lips, and then Sirius's hands were in Moony's jacket, pushing it off his arms. It pooled on the ground beneath his feet, and Moony was pushed back against the door by Sirius, another sigh escaped his lips.

Sirius pushed his tongue into Moony's open mouth and tasted the firewhiskey on his tongue. His nose was cold when it bumped Sirius's cheek, and he laughed gently into Moony's mouth. He had never laughed when kissing someone before, but he seemed to do it a lot with Moony. Maybe it was because of the ball of excitement that had formed in his chest, the moment Moony had kissed him.

Moony pushed Sirius's jacket off now, and walked forward, pushing Sirius backwards. Sirius pulled his lips back the smallest amount and breathed, “Someone's eager.”

Moony let out a sound of agreement and caught Sirius's lips again. The two of them stumbled through the lounge, knocking into the sofa and the wall and the door, before finally stopping at the bottom of the stairs. Sirius pulled away reluctantly from Moony, “We...” He paused, panting heavily, “We should walk up... the stairs properly... don't want to... don't want to die before we...” He gave up trying to speak and dragged Moony's head back towards his.

Moony pulled Sirius against him, backing himself against the wall. Sirius pushed his leg between his, rubbing Moony's crotch with his thigh. Moony moaned against Sirius and it was easily the best sound Sirius had ever heard. He had to get Moony's clothes off, had to make him moan, it was all that mattered.

But when his hands lifted the hem of Moony's t-shirt, Moony pulled his head away and breathed, “We should go upstairs.”

Sirius was tempted to complain, but really there was nothing to complain about. He could wait the extra ten seconds it took to get Moony upstairs, because it was clear Moony wanted him too. He dropped his hands from Moony's t-shirt and grabbed his wrists. He pulled him up the stairs impatiently, hearing Moony laugh behind him as he tried to keep up. Through his laughter, Moony asked, “Who's eager now?”

Sirius smiled over his shoulder and bumped his bedroom door open with his hip. He dragged Moony in and shut the door behind him. He barely had chance to turn around before Moony's lips found his and his hands were pulling his t-shirt up. Sirius couldn't stop kissing Moony long enough to get his t-shirt off.

Eventually, Sirius had to be pushed away so Moony could yank his t-shirt over his head. He pulled his own t-shirt off and chucked them both to the ground, adding to the piles of clothes on the floor.

Sirius pulled Moony back towards him by the waistband of his jeans. He really couldn't believe any of this was happening, was he really about to have sex with Moony?

He kissed his lips briefly before trailing kisses down his jaw, then his neck and his collarbones. He paused at the curve of his shoulder where it met his neck, and sunk his teeth in. Moony moaned again, this time louder without Sirius's lips to drown it out. He wanted Moony to remember tonight, remember that he was Sirius's now. Sirius licked over the bite mark and nibbled at the skin gently. He pulled away from the quickly reddening patch of skin, and Moony dragged his face into a kiss.

Tasting Moony's tongue, Sirius unbuttoned his jeans and found the bulge in Moony's pants. When Sirius wrapped an urgent hand around it, Moony let out a breathy moan. He arched his body into Sirius's and walked backwards. The back of his knees hit the bed and he fell, dragging Sirius down with him. They ended up laughing against each other, breaking their kiss.

Sirius leant to the side, so he wasn't putting all his weight on Moony. He no longer had a hand in Moony's pants and instead used it to hold himself up. He caressed Moony's face with his other hand, tracing the scars that ripped across his skin. At first glance, people probably thought Moony was some dangerous thug with all his scars, but in reality he was as dangerous as a pygmy puff. Sirius followed the length of his nose and down to the curve of his lips. Moony kissed the tips of Sirius's fingers, and smiled.

With surprising control, Moony managed to flip them until he was straddling Sirius. Sirius felt his eyebrows shoot halfway up his forehead, he didn't know what he'd expected – maybe for Moony to be shy in bed, like he was most of the time. But then, when he thought about it, Moony wasn't really shy or well-behaved. He was just as much of a troublemaker as Sirius or James, he just hid it better. Maybe he was the same way in bed. Moony laughed into his hand at Sirius's expression.

Sirius wiggled his hips slightly and sat up, catching Moony before he fell backwards. He splayed his hands on Moony's backside and dragged him closer, until their crotches rubbed together. Moony's fingers tangled in the hair on the nape of Sirius's neck, resting his forehead against his. Sirius needed to get these jeans off, he needed Moony's skin on his and he needed it now. He pushed the waistband of Moony's jeans down, but realised quickly that the way they were sat didn't allow him to get them low enough.

He sighed in frustration, he didn't want Moony off him but he needed his jeans off. Moony laughed again, freeing himself from Sirius's grasp. When Sirius protested, throwing his hands out to catch Moony, his hands were smacked away.

Moony pushed his hand into Sirius's chest and gently shoved him back. Sirius obliged and lay back, observing Moony through his eyelashes. He watched him wiggle out of his jeans, revealing deliciously tented boxers. Sirius licked his lips, and Moony knelt on the bed, between Sirius's legs.

“You're fucking hot.” Sirius muttered, when Moony's fingers found his zipper. His other hand running through the trail of hair starting at his bellybutton.

One corner of Moony's mouth curved upwards, as he dragged Sirius's jeans down. He chucked them behind him uninterestedly, and hooked one finger into Sirius's boxers, completely ignoring the bulge there. He looked up at Sirius with a mischievous look, and painstakingly slow, dragged the boxers down too. Sirius waited impatiently. He needed –  _needed –_ Moony to touch him, to wrap a hand around his cock, to swirl his tongue around the head. Sirius shut his eyes, before opening them quickly, he didn't want to miss a second of this.

Moony, after throwing the underwear somewhere unseen, got down on his hands and knees in front of Sirius's erection. He ran his nails up Sirius's thigh, leaving red marks across his skin. Sirius let out a breathy moan. Moony wrapped a hand around the base and stroked upwards, tauntingly slow. Sirius propped himself up on his elbows to watch, his hips bucking slightly. Moony bent his head and his tongue darted out, moistening his lips.

Sirius couldn't wait. He desperately wanted Moony to suck him and Moony knew this – which is why he was taking his sweet time.

“Moony, fuck. Hurry up.” Sirius ordered.

“Impatient.” Moony said, with a slight smirk. He ducked his head, and pressed his lips to the top of Sirius's cock. Still stroking his hand up and down, he took the tip into his mouth. Sirius sighed, his head flopping back. Moony's mouth was warm and wet and oh fuck, Sirius needed it. He needed more. Moony was torturing him. It was unfair.

“Remus, please.” Sirius sighed, he would have said Moony, but he was angry. He was needy and he was completely at his friend's mercy. He dragged his head back to look at Remus.

Remus's tongue swirled around the head, and dipped into the tiny slit, tasting Sirius's pre-come. His hand stilled on the base of his cock and he dipped his head, taking more of Sirius's cock into his mouth. Sirius almost choked with excitement. Remus was good at this.

He stopped just before the base of Sirius's cock, his mouth full. Sirius was sure he'd just come back up and bob his head, but he didn't. He paused for a second, before swallowing and taking all of Sirius's cock in his mouth, the tip passing into his throat briefly, muscles tightening over it. Sirius's vision blurred momentarily. It was incredible. He could feel the muscles of Remus's throat around his cock head and his hands shot out to entangle in Remus's hair. Remus moaned, the sound vibrating around Sirius's cock.

Remus pulled back, and began bobbing his head up and down, fast. Sirius swallowed, feeling his orgasm building.

Moony's mouth was better than any girl's mouth, way better than any girl's cunt for that matter. Because it was Moony. And he was amazing.

This wasn't the first blowjob Sirius had ever been given, but, fuck, it was the best. He was sure he'd come quicker than he had when he lost his virginity. Because, oh, that sound was back, that beautiful, melodic moan vibrating around his cock, as Remus's hand found his own dick and stroked in time.

“Fuck.” Sirius whispered, the word elongating on his tongue. Unable to snatch his eyes away from the head bobbing between his thighs, the light brown hair shining in the moonlight from the window.

Sirius bucked his hips, gently at first, worried he'd make Remus choke. But when he didn't even gag, Sirius sped up, thrusted hard and he saw Remus's hand move faster on his own cock, and he knew he loved it – being fucked like this. Sirius's mouth was open in awe and pleasure, and his mouth was dry, but he managed to choke out, “Fuck, you're gorgeous.”

Moony's eyes flicked up to look at him, and Sirius almost lost it right there. For as long as he lived, no image would be as mesmerising as Moony meeting his eye, while his cock thrusts into his mouth.

Remus's hand stilled suddenly and his shoulders shook slightly. He came across Sirius's bed. And that was all Sirius needed. He grunted and Remus slowed, pulling his head away. Sirius came across his stomach, as Remus ran his tongue all the way along Sirius's cock – from the back of his balls, right up to the glans. He sealed his lips over the head again and swallowed the final drops, before dipping his tongue into the slit one last time.

“Oh...” Sirius moaned, a sudden exhaustion coming over him. He shut his eyes, falling backwards onto his pillow. He felt the bed move with Remus, and then a tongue was on his stomach. A noise of pleasure escaped Sirius's throat when he realised what Remus was doing.

He was sticky and he was clammy, but he didn't care. He reached down, grabbed a handful of Remus's hair and dragged him upwards, sucking Remus's tongue into his mouth. He could taste himself in Remus's mouth and he loved it. Remus was tired and malleable in his arms, he was warm and soft and Sirius wanted him closer, impossibly close.

He pulled his lips away, pressed one final kiss at the corner of his mouth and rolled them both over. They were lay on their sides, facing each other. A content, sleepy smile was on Remus's face, and Sirius's face split with a yawn. Exhaustion filled him, half caused by alcohol, and half caused by his orgasm. Remus wiggled closer, pressing his face into the crook where Sirius's shoulder met his neck. His breath was soft and gentle. Sirius barely had enough energy to wrap one arm around him. He'd have to wait until tomorrow to clean up, but he didn't mind, he was far too tired.

“Goodnight, Padfoot.” Remus breathed into his neck.

Sirius didn't want to sleep, he didn't. He wanted – needed – to return the favour. He may never get another chance like this. Tomorrow Remus might go back to normal – their drunken romp forgetten, forced to the back of his mind. He'd want to forget, to put down what happened tonight to the alcohol in their systems.

Which is why he wanted to return the favour now. He wanted Remus's cock in his mouth. He wanted to hear Remus moan, and feel his fingernails dig into his scalp, when Sirius twirls his tongue like Remus had.

But despite the desperate wanting, and all the images that filled his mind, he still fell asleep. 


	7. The Rise and Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus's feelings go for a ride.

**Remus**

 

The bed was empty.

Remus was surprised he didn't have a hangover, and not at all surprised Sirius had ditched the bed.

In fact, he was sure Sirius had only ever stayed for the morning after with one girl, and that had not ended well. It had ended so badly, that he now resorted to hiding from her.

Remus shrugged. He was hurt by Sirius's callousness but he hadn't expected much. Sirius had only been sucked off by his mate, he hadn't accepted a marriage proposal.

The bed had been cleaned and the sheets had been pulled over Remus. It no longer smelt like sex and sweat, but it still smelt like Sirius, like firewhiskey and smoke. Remus pulled the covers over his head and wrapped a hand around his erection.

Considering the fact that Sirius's dick had been in his mouth last night, in this very bed, he felt no objection to wanking in it right now. He ran his hand up and down his dick, pulsing his hand gently. The memories of Sirius's dick hitting the back of his throat, and his hands pulling his hair, filled his mind.

“Sirius.” Remus moaned, clamping his mouth shut immediately. He didn't want anyone to overhear him. To keep himself from attracting any unwanted attention, he stuck two fingers in his mouth, sucking hard. It was in no way similar to Sirius's cock, but Remus could pretend.

He had been drunk enough to suck off his straight friend last night, but he could still remember everything vividly. The rough way Sirius grabbed at him, the messy, mussed up look of Sirius's hair, and the needy tone in his voice as he begged for Remus to hurry up. He could remember Sirius's moans and his grey eyes watching him intently.

Remus came fast, the image of Sirius coming pushed him over the edge.

He pushed the now sticky sheets away from him and found his wand, placed on the bedside table probably by Sirius. After a hasty scourgify, he found his clothes strewn around the room and bounded quickly into the bathroom for a shower.

In the hot water, his hand found his cock again. He was already hard. It was ridiculous, he hadn't had to masturbate this much since he'd first discovered mastubation. But all he could think of was Sirius, and last night. It took him a bit longer to come this time, but it was still faster than usual.

Turning the heat down slightly, Remus wondered where Sirius had gone. He'd probably ran off to James to tell him about the huge mistake he made last night, and  _can I stay at yours tonight? In case Moony wants to jump my bones again..._

Remus pressed his forehead to the wall tile angrily. Why was he such an idiot? Why did his lust control him? Why had he drank so much?

_And for Merlin's sakes, why is Sirius straight?_ Remus thought, squeezing his shower gel into his hands. He ran his hands together creating bubbles, and his mind wandered. Maybe Sirius  _was_ straight, but straight men don't let their male friends suck them off... Do they?

Remus shrugged, one blowjob did not mean anything. Especially not when you're drunk.

Once he'd successfully gotten rid of the smell of sex, Remus wrapped a towel around himself and ducked into his own room. He came back out in clean clothes, feeling like maybe he could get through today without sticking his hands down his pants again... Maybe. His stomach rumbled loudly, distracting him from the filthy thoughts in his mind. With water still dripping from his hair, he made his way downstairs.

At the bottom of the stairs, he froze, looking into the kitchen in surprise. Not only was Sirius still in the building – fully dressed – but he was eating  _breakfast._

Actual breakfast.

Breakfast that hadn't been made by Lupin, and didn't consist entirely of black coffee and a cigarette.

Remus opened his mouth but found no words. He hadn't been expecting Sirius to be here. He certainly hadn't expected him to be eating toast, and smiling like he'd just punched Snape in the face. Remus had no idea what he was supposed to say to him. What are you supposed to say to someone in this situation?

_Hey, thanks for letting me suck your cock last night, it's not awkward between us right?_

He really wanted to just hide in his bedroom, but instead, he stepped fully into the room, and sat down at the table. Hope was nowhere to be found, saving her from witnessing the awkward conversation that was no doubt on it's way.

Sirius didn't look up. He picked up a slice of toast, and slid the plate with the remaining three slices towards Remus. Remus took the toast and bit into it, keeping his eyes fixed on Sirius. He hadn't shaved this morning and his stubble had already started to appear. Remus felt the odd urge to press his lips to the stubble, and took another bite of his toast. His hair looked soft and Remus could smell his shampoo from here. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and he looked tired. But he couldn't keep the smile off his face when he looked up at Remus.

“Morning.” He said, licking butter off his bottom lip.

Remus swallowed a mouthful of toast, and averted his eyes from Sirius's lips, “Morning.”

Sirius's eyes trailed down Remus's neck and stopped at the point where his shoulder met his neck. He laughed softly to himself and Remus's hand flew up to find what he was laughing at. Then he realised his t-shirt had quite a wide collar and his lovebite was probably on show. Heat flooded his cheeks. He had never liked lovebites, but he loved this one. It was like a mark of possession, a reminder of last night.

Sirius laughed again, and downed the remainder of his orange juice. He stood up, leant back down and kissed Remus on the lips. Placing a hand on the back of his neck to keep him in place. Remus licked his lips when Sirius moved away to place his glass into the sink. Even though he'd spent the majority of last night kissing Sirius, he was still not over it. Maybe he'd never get used to the feeling of Sirius's lips on his.

Sirius lifted the empty plate from Remus and put it in the sink too. Remus watched him bemusedly. Now he was washing the dishes? Had Sirius hit his head last night? Was he still drunk?

“Sirius, what...” Remus asked, gesturing to encompass all of Sirius with his hand. He turned and winked at Remus, and Remus rolled his eyes, “Why don't you just use your wand?”

Sirius dried his hands on a towel and joked, “It got enough use last night.”

Remus laughed, slightly embarrassed, and shook his head. Sirius didn't find it weird between them. He was okay with what happened last night. Remus was pretty sure he was still asleep, and this was all some very vivid, very realistic dream.

He stood up and hugged Sirius from behind, resting his head on his shoulder. He was so happy. All it had taken was a fake relationship – and a few bottles of firewhiskey – for Sirius to realise he liked Remus too. All the creeping doubts Remus had ever had about Sirius's feelings disappeared. Sirius ran his hands down Remus's forearms and entwined their fingers.

Someone cleared their throat behind them. Remus released Sirius and turned to face his mum.

“Morning.” He said, unable to stop smiling.

Sirius glanced at his watch, “I have to go.  _Some of us_ have jobs.” He teased, throwing an amused look at Remus.

“And some of us are werewolves.” Remus countered, rolling his eyes when Sirius kissed him on the cheek. He walked towards Hope, a slight swagger in his walk, and kissed her on the cheek too. He was just about to apparate, when there was a knock at the door.

“I'll get it-”

“No, I'll get it.” Remus interrupted Sirius, sidestepping him and Hope, “You go to work. If you're late again, I won't be the only unemployed one.”

Remus walked towards the door, aware that he was still grinning from ear-to-ear but he couldn't stop. It was pathetic, really. He couldn't be blamed though. Sirius might not be his actual boyfriend (yet) but he was closer than he'd ever been.

He opened the door, and his smile faltered for the first time since he'd seen Sirius this morning. Gina stood on the doorstep. Gina Lane. Sirius's ex girlfriend. Remus realised his luck was about to run out.

“Um, hi?” Remus asked, his eyes trailing the length of her very short, very revealing dress.

“Is he here?” She asked, looking bored.

“He's...” Remus glanced behind him, Sirius was still stood in the kitchen laughing about something with Hope. Remus turned back around and saw that Gina had spotted Sirius too. She shoved past Remus and into the house. Remus, more confused than ever, followed her quickly.

He wondered why she was here. He wondered what he had possibly done to deserve her arrival. After everything she'd done to him in the past, he would be perfectly fine never seeing her again.

When Sirius had dated Gina in sixth year, she'd been horrible. She was controlling and bossy, and she held some unfortunate opinions on werewolves. Remus wasn't entirely convinced she hated all werewolves, probably just the ones that were in love with her boyfriend. She had hexed Remus on more than one occasion, but Sirius didn't know that, of course.

Their messy relationship had ended in a huge argument and Remus had been sure Sirius would have killed anyone who got in his way that day.

Still, Sirius had made it work with her for five months, longer than he had with anyone else.

Remus felt like he was deflating as Gina got to the kitchen. Sirius turned around then, and his own smile faltered but didn't disappear, when he caught sight of her.

“Gina?” He asked, throwing a perplexed look at Remus. Remus just shrugged, as lead dropped into his stomach.

“We need to talk.” She said, her voice sounding sweeter than it had moments ago. Remus felt like he was about to be sick. Hope glanced between the three of them. Remus didn't have the energy to explain anything to her, he just let her draw her own conclusions. Right now, he didn't care about his and Sirius's fake relationship, he cared about their real one.

“I'm...” Sirius threw a quick glance at Remus, looking away less than a second later, “I'm about to go to work.”

“I'll come.” She said, shrugging. Before Remus could say anything, she grabbed Sirius's hand and the two of them disappeared with a loud CRACK.

Remus stared at the space Sirius had just left. Hope disappeared and the sound of the kettle filled the kitchen. Remus stayed still. He was an idiot. He had been right this morning. Sirius eating breakfast and kissing him meant nothing. He was still Sirius, and Sirius still loved girls in short dresses. What was Remus compared to Gina Lane?

Their relationship was fake, of course it was fake. Remus knew this! When the week was over, and Hope was gone, Sirius would stop pretending, stop kissing Remus and smiling like he was the best thing in the world, because none of this was real. Sirius was a good liar, and they were not dating.

He couldn't believe he'd forgotten.

Remus walked towards his room, ignoring his mum's questions. He found his own bed and lay down, pulling his knees to his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course they couldn't be happy! Why would I allow that? 
> 
> Also, I know Sirius never had a job because he doesn't need one, due to inheritance, but shhhhhh.


	8. Hands or Dick?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius confesses, Lily threatens, Prongs laughs

**Sirius**

_Shit, shit, shit._

_Fucking shit._

Sirius stomped out his cigarette and pulled out his next. He glanced at the blue front door ahead of him, and flicked his lighter on. He should really knock, but he knew what he faced inside, and frankly, he'd rather have one more cigarette. For all he knew, it could be the last cigarette he ever had before he was brutally killed.

He took a long, slow drag, but it didn't help. Like they had since this morning, his nerves still felt frayed and tight. He scratched at his neck, and glanced down the street. Sirius had finished work an hour ago and it was just beginning to get dark. Pulling the cigarette from his mouth and stamping it out, despite the fact that he'd only just lit it, he approached the door. He curled his hand into a fist and went to knock.

He hesitated.

He wasn't ready, but he definitely deserved it. He'd fucked up, and he deserved whatever curses were about to be thrown at him.

He banged his fist against the door. It opened half a minute later. Evans took one look at him, and her face darkened.

“What did you do?” She growled, folding her arms across her chest.

“Evening, Evans.” Sirius said, but his voice held none of his usual humour.

"What did you do?” She asked again.

Sirius sighed, dipping his fingers into his pocket and fiddling with his cigarette packet, “Can I come in?”

She stepped to the side, keeping her glare focused on him. He went in, wiping his feet on the doormat, and walked into the lounge. Prongs glanced up from the pregnancy book he was reading – yes, an actual pregnancy book! If Sirius hadn't been so torn up inside, he would have rolled his eyes so hard they'd never come back down – and nodded at Sirius, “What's up?”

“I need your wife's help.” Sirius said, dropping onto the sofa next to Prongs.

“She's not going to Askaban for you.” Prongs joked, shutting the book and placing it on the coffee table.

Lily stood in front of Sirius, her lips pursed, and tapped her foot impatiently, “What did you do?”

“I...” Sirius glanced at her wand poking out of her apron pocket.  _Damn._ He should have really taken that off her before he stepped inside, “I did a thing.”

“What  _thing_ did you do?” Prongs asked, with a smirk, “And why didn't you involve me?”

Sirius grimaced, “You don't want to be involved in this thing...”

Prongs's smirk disappeared and he mirrored Evans's look, only he looked more concerned, while she just looked murderous. He echoed Evans, “What did you do?”

“I had sex with Moony.” Sirius said, dropping his face into his hands.

“You had sex with.... Oh...” Prongs said. Sirius peeked through his fingers at Prongs and his expression of controlled horror, turned into a smug look, “I KNEW YOU LIKED HIM!”

Sirius narrowed his eyes at Prongs, “That's not really the important part.”

“I knew it, ever since that stupid kiss in seventh year, I fucking knew it.” Prongs said more to himself than anyone else, “And this fake relationship? Oh man, you two are so obvious. I knew it.”

“PRONGS!” Sirius shouted, throwing his hands out in anger, “Will you stop wanking over yourself for a second, I have a problem here!”

“What is your problem? Really? Is it a problem that you love one of your mates? He loves you back, does that make it a problem? Because it doesn't sound like a problem...” Prongs said, rolling his eyes.

“That's not the problem, you tosser!” Sirius hissed.

“Okay, okay! Less of that language please! Some of us are carrying babies here.” Evans said, gesturing to her stomach, “Sirius, what's your problem?”

“I had sex with Moony and then...” Sirius hesitated, he pulled a face and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, “Agreed to a date with Gina.”

“What!” Prongs shouted, while Evans just glared at Sirius. If looks could kill, Sirius would be a pile of ash right now.

“I didn't mean to.” Sirius protested, desperate for a cigarette or a bottle of firewhiskey, or something to distract him. Gina had come to work with him, and she'd been in that stupid tiny dress and Sirius hadn't been able to focus. When she'd asked for a second chance, like the absolute idiot he was, Sirius had said yes, and she'd disappeared before he could take it back.

“How did you not mean to? How do you _accidentally_ fuck your friend and then _accidentally_ agree to date a girl? How the hell do you _accidentally_ hurt your friend this much?” Prongs asked  angrily, hitting Sirius over the head.

“I know, I don't know.” Sirius said, dropping his head to his hands again.

“I'm going to ask you a question, and I need a serious answer.” Evans said calmly.

Sirius glanced up to see her rolling her sleeves up. He could guess what she was going to ask - whether he loved Moony. Or whether he loved Gina. And he didn't know. Well, he did know he didn't love Gina, that was obvious. He didn't even  _like_ her. But Moony... That was where it got complicated. He liked Moony, obviously. But did he love him?

Sirius didn't know.

Evans arched one eyebrow, and Sirius nodded, waiting for her question – unsure of how he'd answer it.

“Your hands or your dick. Which do you want to keep?” Evans asked, aiming her wand at the space between his legs. Sirius widened his eyes, he had not been expecting this, and she stepped forward threateningly, “Answer, or I choose for you.”

“Uh...” Sirius panicked. Luckily, Prongs chose that moment to lean over Sirius and snatch Evans's wand out of her hands, potentially saving Sirius's dick from a severing. She spun to face him, fury all over her face, and held her hand out for the wand. Prongs tucked the wand behind him on the sofa.

“Lily, I love you, but I can't let you castrate my best friend.” Prongs said.

“I won't castrate him, I gave him a choice.” Evans said, folding her arms across her chest, “Now give me my wand, Potter, or I castrate you too.”

Prongs glanced nervously at Sirius. They shared a scared look, before Prongs shook his head and said, “Sorry, Evans, I can't let you.”

“He hurt Remus and ditched him for Gina, and you're going to defend him?” She screeched, her voice almost reaching supersonic levels.

“I'm not defending him, he's a fucking idiot-”

“Hey!” Sirius interrupted.

“-But cutting his dick off isn't going to help us.” Prongs said soothingly.

“It'll help me.” Evans muttered.

“Can we stop talking about cutting off my dick for a second!” Sirius asked, jumping to his feet, “I need your help!”

“What do you want us to do?” Evans asked, narrowing her eyes at Sirius. From the look on her face, it was clear the last thing she wanted to do was help Sirius. She looked like she wanted to murder him with her bare hands.

“Help me get Moony to forgive me.” Sirius said, quietly.

“No.” Evans said, simply.

“But-”

“You don't deserve it.”

“But I-”

“No, Sirius.” Evans said, ending the conversation.

“So what am I supposed to do?” Sirius asked, running his hand through his hair nervously. Evans was right, he didn't deserve Moony's forgiveness, but in fairness, he hadn't even gone on a date with Gina. He'd only agreed to one, he could always cancel. He still wanted Moony, so badly. “I live with him, I can't go home while he's mad at me.”

Moony might not even know about the date, but well, Sirius knew Gina, and she would have told him. She held a specific kind of hatred for Moony, and now Sirius guessed he knew why. She must have known about his feelings for Sirius long before even Prongs knew.

Or maybe she was just a total bitch – yeah, probably the latter.

“Not my problem, Black.” Evans shrugged, turning and walking into the kitchen. She slammed the door shut behind her.

Prongs let out a low whistle, “She's extra scary when she's pregnant, isn't she?” Sirius turned to stare at him and he stood up, “I'll help, but I don't think there's much I can do.”

Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose, “I just need him to...” Sirius trailed off. He didn't need Moony to do anything, he corrected himself, “I just need him.”

Prongs placed a hand on his shoulder, and looked sincerely into Sirius's eyes, “I knew it.”

Sirius laughed and shrugged out of Prongs's grip, then sarcastically added, “Thanks for all your help, Prongs.”

Prongs wrapped an arm over his shoulder and pulled him towards the kitchen, in an undertone he muttered, “Thanks for pissing off my pregnant wife.”

“You're welcome.” Sirius laughed, palming the door open, “I'll sort it out. I'll... I don't know, I'll bring her a box of chocolates or something.”

They stepped into the kitchen and stopped. Evans wasn't in there. She must have gone upstairs to avoid Sirius. Sirius pulled an apologetic face at Prongs, “Sorry.”

“It's all right.” He shrugged, “She'll come down when you're gone.”

“Yeah... About that...” Sirius leaned back on the kitchen counter, “Can I stay here for the night? I'm scared Moony might murder me in my sleep.”

“And you're not scared Lily will do the same?”

“I am, but at least here I have you to stop her.”

“True, but there's only so many times I can save your life.” Prongs laughed, tossing a bottle of butterbeer from the fridge at Sirius.

Sirius caught it expertly and twisted the cap off, he took a long swig. Prongs turned a dining chair to face Sirius and sat down. He nudged Sirius's foot with his own, “How could you agree to a date with  _her_ ?”

Sirius remained silent, glancing down at the floor, and Prongs continued, “Don't you remember how it ended? Fuck, don't you remember the whole relationship?”

“I know! Okay! I know, I'm an idiot. But I was confused and she was in a dress and I couldn't think straight. I couldn't get Moony out of my mind and it doesn't make sense, I know, but Merlin, I don't know!” Sirius rambled, his words tumbling out of his mouth, “I was scared Moony didn't actually like me, because we're supposed to be pretending, right? So how do I know he's not pretending?”

Prongs gave a weary sigh, “He's not pretending. He's loved you since, like, seventh year, and I'm guessing you've loved him for just as long.”

“How do you know?” Sirius asked sincerely.

“Because I'm not an idiot, and I'm not blind.” Prongs scoffed. The two of them fell into silence for a while, drinking and lost in their own thoughts. Sirius stared at Prongs, he was so sure of Moony's feelings, why wasn't Sirius? More importantly, why had Prongs never told him Moony liked him? Or that Sirius liked Moony?

Eventually Prongs said, “You can stay here tonight.”

“Shouldn't you get permission off your wife?” Sirius mocked.

Prongs looked offended, like he was about to insult Sirius, but then he stood up, placed his butterbeer onto the table and walked towards the hallway. Sirius laughed when he heard Prongs mutter, “Yeah, I probably should.”

Sirius downed the remainder of his butterbeer and tossed the bottle into the bin. He wandered towards the fridge, and distantly heard Prongs shouting Evans's name. Before he even had chance to pull out another drink, Prongs burst back into the kitchen looking panicked. Sirius spun around and laughed, “I take it she said no?”

“She's gone.” Prongs said, his eyes comically wide.

“What do you mean she's gone?”

Prongs closed the gap between them in a few steps and shook Sirius roughly by his shoulders, “My pregnant wife has ran away! I lost my pregnant wife!”

“Ow, Prongs, stop!” Sirius protested, batting Prongs's hands away. When Prongs released him, Sirius rubbed his shoulders where his fingernails had dug in, “Relax, I think I know where she went.”

 


	9. Lily Evans and The Idiot Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a distinct lack of brains in The Marauders.   
> Enter Lily basically-a-genius Evans.

**Lily**

Boys, she had decided, were idiots. Sirius Black more so than others. Then again, Lupin had proved he wasn't as smart as he appeared. Really, she had told them both this plan was stupid and neither one had listened. Why did they never listen to her? She was always right, they should know this by now!

After knocking for over five minutes, Lily said the password (Black had been exceptionally eager to share that password) and let herself into Remus's house.

The lounge was clean... Actually, the word clean wasn't good enough. A more accurate description would be impeccable, or flawless, or unblemished. It was _too_ clean. Like it was a movie set and not a lived-in lounge. She stepped through and into the kitchen.

The kitchen practically sparkled. It was all white wood and shiny, stainless steel. Remus had been busy. Maybe trying to clean every inch of the house was a good distraction. After confirming Remus wasn't in the kitchen, Lily made her way upstairs. She heard a clang and someone shout, and guessed Remus was in the bathroom.

She briefly wondered where Hope was, and whether she knew her son was expressing his anger through early spring cleaning. She pushed the bathroom door open and saw Remus on his knees in front of the toilet, scrubbing furiously. Lily cleared her throat, and Remus's head snapped up to look at her. He smiled sheepishly and sat back on his heels.

“Hey.” She said, sitting on the edge of the tub, “Are you cleaning the toilet?”

“Someone has to.” Remus shrugged, standing up and washing his hands in the sink. There was a red mark, roughly the size of a certain someone's puckered lips, on his neck. She made a mental note to curse Black with boils for the rest of the year, if he didn't fix this mess.

“Yes, but you have a wand.” She pointed out.

“The muggle way helps me think.” He said, glancing at his reflection. He turned to face her and leaned back against the sink, “What's up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I think you already know.” He said, laughing slightly, “Otherwise why else would you be sitting on my bathtub, looking at me like a mother looks at her hurt child.”

“Maternal instinct?” She shrugged, curving her hand over her stomach.

“I know you know, Lily.” He said quietly.

“Fine, but we're not talking about it in the bathroom, come on.” She stood up and dragged Remus out and down the stairs by his arm. She dragged him into the weirdly clean lounge. He sighed but didn't protest when she pushed him onto the couch. She sat down next to him and pinned him with a serious look, “Talk.”

“I _have_ recently acquired a lot of knowledge about Tentaculas, if you're interested.” He offered.

“Don't play with me, Remus, there's a very upset Sirius Black disturbing my home and by now, my husband has probably told him he can stay the night. So talk, before I commit a triple homocide and the Marauders go from a four to a one.”

Remus leaned back slightly, “You're scarier than usual.”

“Hormones. Now stop avoiding the subject.”

“I'm in love with my best friend, is that what you wanted to hear?” Remus said, flopping his head onto the back of the sofa. Lily wanted to hug him but she was also still angry at him, so she whacked him on the arm instead, “HEY!” he protested, rubbing his arm.

“I told you not to do anything stupid!”

“And I didn't listen.” Remus said, pulling his arm away before Lily could smack it again.

She curled her legs beneath her and rested her head on his shoulder. He curved one arm around her and she whispered, “Do you know about Gina?”

“She came by.” He muttered darkly, “She seemed very eager to tell me about Sirius's confession of love.”

Lily clenched her teeth together. This needed some damage control. She'd known Gina since first year, and could tell she hadn't told him the truth. She'd probably exaggerated Sirius's agreement to a date, she was almost as good a liar as Sirius was. Lily said the only thing she thought might help, “He likes you too.”

He tensed next to her, but relaxed quickly, “No, he was just pretending.”

“Then explain why he came crying to me and James about his huge mistake.”

He rubbed his other hand over his face and muttered, “He regrets sleeping with me while he was drunk.”

“No, he regrets leaving with Gina.” Lily said softly.

Remus pulled his arm away from her and scooted away, “Lily, I see what you're doing, but it's not true.”

“It is, he said so-”

“He's a good liar.” Remus interrupted in a clipped voice.

He was attempting to hide how hurt he was by anger, but it wasn't working. He was never good at hiding his feelings, and that's why everyone – excluding the idiots named Sirius Black and James Potter – knew about his love for his best friend. Lily reached out but he shrugged away from her.

She pulled her hand away and said, “Remus, really, he likes you.”

“Not in the same way.” He argued.

“Of course he does! Are you blind! People who don't love each other don't sleep together.” Remus opened his mouth to argue but she continued quickly, not giving him a chance to interrupt, “He likes you and you have to forgive him.”

“He likes  _her_ too and I don't  _have_ to do anything.”

“Are you just being stubborn on purpose?” She asked, arching one eyebrow.

“No, I'm being realistic.”

She reached out and curved her hand around his elbow, “You're really not going to give him a chance?” He paused, before shaking his head slowly. She pursed her lips, “Fine. But I'm sorry for this.”

“Sorry for-” Was all Remus got to choke out before the wind was sucked out of him. Lily's lounge materialised around them and Remus glared at her when he finally found his feet. She smiled apologetically before shoving him towards the kitchen.

“Lily, stop it!” He ordered, trying to resist her, but she was stronger – or maybe he just wasn't trying hard enough. Either way, she managed to push him into the kitchen, interrupting a whispered conversation between James and Sirius.

They both looked up when they walked in and silence filled the room. Lily shoved Remus towards Sirius and glared at them both when they avoided looking at each other. She placed her hands on her hips and cleared her throat loudly, “Listen! You two are going to fix this, because I'm two months pregnant and I can't handle Black sleeping on my couch!”

“But-”

“NO!” She shouted, cutting Black off, “And if I hear one of you apparate out of here, I _will_ hunt you down.” She grabbed James's hand and dragged him towards the door. Remus shuffled awkwardly and Sirius was looking intently at the floor. They would talk about this, or so help her, she wouldn't be responsible for her actions. Why are boys idiots?

She shut the door behind her and James, and pressed her ear up against it. He nudged her chin gently with his finger, “This is a terrible idea.”

“Do you have a better one?”

He paused for a second, before pressing his ear to the door as well. They couldn't hear much beyond the sound of their voices. They were unable to make out the words being said, but they could tell they were talking. A good sign at least.

“How long have you known?” James asked.

“Since fourth year, they weren't exactly subtle with their loving gazes.” Lily rolled her eyes. The voices on the other side of the door grew in volume, but Lily still couldn't make out any words. She could hear the angry shouting of Remus and the slightly less angry shouting of Sirius. She was sure they'd either kill each other or kiss each other any second now. She was hoping for the latter, since it would require less clean up.

There was a CRACK and a loud shout. Lily and James widened their eyes and seconds later the door was pulled open, almost making them both fall over. Sirius looked down at them with raised eyebrows, “Were you eavesdropping?”

“We were trying to.” James said, straightening up and wrapping his arm around Lily's waist, “But you don't enunciate properly.”

“He's gone.” Sirius said, rubbing his hands over his face. He looked exhausted and sad and Lily felt the sudden urge to hug him. She stepped forward and pulled him into a tight hug.

He tensed beneath her and his hands fluttered nervously behind her, unsure where to go, “Are you... Are you hugging me?” He patted her back a couple of times, “I knew you liked me.”

“I don't like you.” Lily said, pulling away from Sirius. She turned on her heels and sat down on the couch, she heard James whisper, “she does.” to Sirius, but chose to ignore him.

Sirius sat down on the couch with James. After a pause he said, “I fucked this up, didn't I?”

“Just a bit.” James laughed, placing his hand on Lily's knee.

She yawned and placed her hand over his. A quick glance at her watch told her it was ten o'clock, and she was exhausted. She could leave James and Sirius together to get this sorted out, but as she'd established already, they were boys and therefore by default, were idiots too.

“What do you want to do?” Lily asked, watching Sirius, “Do you want to be with him, or just go back to how it was before?”

He took a deep breath, “I don't know.”

“I think you need to figure that out before you talk to him again.” She rose to her feet, he opened his mouth to speak and she cut him off smoothly, “Yes, you can stay here until you've figured that out.”

“Night, Lily.” He said, using her proper name for the first time in a long time.

 


	10. Goodbye, Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A departure, and a reunion

**Remus**

 

“You don't have to leave.” Remus said, watching his mum pack up her things. He glanced out the window, it was only midday but the sky seemed dark already. The muggle weather man had said there would a storm tonight.

Remus couldn't believe it had been two days since Sirius had disappeared with Gina, and they'd fought in the Potter's kitchen. He hadn't seen him since. It was weird without him. They had spent a hell of a lot of time together since they first met in Hogwarts, and now this absence was just strange.

When he'd woken up today, like yesterday, Remus had been partly glad Sirius hadn't come home, and partly sad for the same reason. He kept expecting him to walk in through the front door, complaining about work, and suggesting they go to the bar and see who can get who laid first.

It had only been five days since him and Sirius had started their fake relationship and they were already not speaking to each other.

When Remus had said he'd made a huge mistake, he hadn't realised just how big.

“I don't want to intrude any longer.” Hope said, carefully folding a cardigan set into her suitcase, “You know I was here mostly to set you up on a date.” She added with a small smile, “But you've already taken care of that yourself.”

“Yeah...” Remus said awkwardly. He waved his wand at her remaining cardigans and they folded themselves into her suitcase.

She watched in amazement but quickly rolled her eyes at her son, “You don't have to use magic for everything, you know?”

“It's quicker.” Remus said, as the suitcase zipped itself up, “You can stay if you want. I could use the company... while Sirius is on his business trip.”

“No, Remus, it's okay. I miss your dad anyway, Lord knows he's probably set the house on fire by now.”

Remus laughed and hefted the suitcase off the bed. He held out his hand for his mum but she shied away, “No, we are not teleporting.”

“It's called apparating.” Remus said, smiling, “And it's quicker.”

“No, we'll get a taxi to the train station.” She said, leading Remus down the stairs.

“I could just apparate us home. It would save you a two hour train journey.” Remus pointed out, when Hope reached for the phone in the kitchen and dialled. She rolled her eyes at him and began telling her details to the taxi company. He gave up trying to convince her, even his dad hadn't been able to convince her about the ease of apparation.

There was another reason he didn't want to get a taxi to and from the train station. It would give him time to think, and these past two days Remus had been trying to keep his mind as distracted as possible. Every time he thought about Sirius leaving, and their stupid fake relationship, he felt like crying but also punching himself in the face.

He rubbed his forehead, he was pathetic. He was acting like he was going through a break up, and that wasn't even slightly true.

He couldn't stop thinking about Sirius and he ranged from blind fury to crushing sadness. It was like his body couldn't decide how to feel so it settled on everything all at once. He missed Sirius. He wanted to kill Sirius. He wanted to kiss Sirius. He sighed.

*******

“I want to apologise.” Hope said, looking towards Remus.

“Why?” Remus asked, avoiding his mum's gaze. He knew that if he looked at her any longer, he'd confess everything. So he fixed his gaze on the most distant point of the track, trying to see if her train was on it's way yet.

“I shouldn't have been forcing you to date. I thought...” She paused for a weirdly long time. Remus made himself look at her, and his heart ached when he saw the water in her eyes. Oh fuck, she was going to cry. She was going to cry at the train station, and with Remus's fragile state, he would cry too. They would be the psychopaths who cried on the train platform. She finally continued, looking up at him, “I thought with your affliction, you were avoiding people. Avoiding getting close to anyone in case you...”

She waved her hand to encompass the end of her sentence, and continued, “But I see what you have with Sirius and I want to apologise for all I did. You don't need my help to fall in love-”

“I'm not dating Sirius.” Remus blurted out.

He had to tell her. He couldn't lie to her anymore. Especially when him and Sirius weren't speaking at all. The speech that was coming out of her mouth was too much for him. The guilt had been eating him from the inside out, and he just couldn't keep it anymore. She deserved to know the truth, even if it upset her more.

She looked at Remus sharply, “What?”

“I'm not actually dating Sirius. I lied.” Remus said quietly, feeling incredibly small under her look, “I didn't want to keep going on those dates and Sirius just came to mind. I'm not dating him, or anyone. I'm sorry.”

“You both lied to me.” She stated.

"Well, Sirius only lied because I asked him too.” Remus offered with a small smile. Hope didn't crack a smile. He saw her train appear at the end of the track, and quickly said, “I'm sorry, but we're not a couple.”

He kept his eyes fixed on the fast approaching train, ignoring his mum staring at him. After a long pause, just as the train screeched to a halt, she said, “Yes, you are.”

“No, we're not.” Remus said, knowing that if he looked at her he'd break down.

“Not yet at least.” She muttered, hefting up her suitcase and walking towards the train.

Remus jogged after her, “What?”

She laughed softly at her son and boarded the train, hanging out of the door she explained, “No one lies that well.”

“He does.” Remus called, as the doors began to beep, signalling they were about to close.

“No one.” Hope said happily, just as the doors closed on her and she disappeared into the carriage.

Remus stood still, watching the train depart. Once it disappeared with the curve of the tracks, he shook himself and pulled his coat around himself firmly. A small dot of water landed on his forehead. Then another, and another. He grabbed his wand from his pocket, double-checked no one was watching, and apparated, just before the heavens opened fully.

In his lounge, he hooked his coat onto the coat rack and ran a hand through his hair. He dropped down onto the couch and glanced at the window, as the rain pelted angrily against the glass. His mum could believe what she wanted, but she didn't know Sirius. She didn't know how well he could lie.

He pointed his wand at the fireplace and seconds later, a fire sparked and the room was filled with a warm, orange glow. He thought back to the Potters's kitchen, when Lily had forced him to talk to Sirius. It had been... awkward.

More than awkward, it had been infuriating.

They had started out in a normal conversation, stupidly choosing to talk about how bossy Lily was, rather than the problem at hand. The nice, normal conversation had ended less than five minutes later, when Remus had blurted out, “How's Gina?”

Not exactly subtle.

Sirius had frozen, his eyes darting around the room nervously. Remus had regretted not asking in a more sensitive way, but could he be blamed? He was pissed off and he'd been ditched like, well, like one of the many girls that ended up in Sirius's bed. Was that all he was to Sirius now?

“She's...” Sirius had started. He had trailed off, pinned Remus with a strange look, before stepping forward and dragging him in for a kiss. And Remus, ashamed as he was now, had kissed back. Yeah, he was mad at Sirius, but it was still Sirius. His lips were still soft yet firm, and they had started a fire somewhere inside Remus.

Then his senses had come screaming back, and Remus had shoved Sirius away, making his hip hit the side of the kitchen counter. Sirius had looked hurt.

“Stop it!” Remus had shouted, his voice shaking ever so slightly, “Stop kissing me! I don't need your pity!”

“For Merlin's sakes!” Sirius had groaned, “See! This is why I've never kissed you before, you're so fucking complicated!”

“ _I'm_ complicated?” Remus had asked incredulously, “What about you! You're such a fucking liar, I can't tell what's real with you! This whole thing could be a lie right now!”

Sirius had pinched the bridge of his nose and then thrown his arms out in anger, “Yeah you're right. All of this was a lie. I don't love you and I just used you. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR!”

“At least you're telling the truth now.” Remus had said, apparating away before Sirius could reply.

Now, Remus shut his eyes and rolled on the sofa. Lily was right, he really was an idiot. Maybe Sirius didn't love him, but he knew Sirius hadn't intended to use him. Even if they weren't a couple, they would always be friends, and friends just don't do that to each other.

But Remus had been mad, and he'd wanted Sirius to hurt.

Something began to dig into his back and he sat up with a groan, losing his train of thought. Underneath him he found the TV remote. Remus forced himself up and wandered into the kitchen, wondering what he could eat for dinner. He could keep going with the cliché post break up routine and have some ice cream... but he wasn't quite ready for rock bottom just yet.

As he passed, he glanced at the mirror on the wall – the mirror that wasn't just a mirror. He could tap it and get James to bring Sirius over. And tell him he was sorry and that he wanted him back, even if it was going to be awkward between them for a while. The house was weird without him, it was clean all the time, leaving Remus with nothing to do all day.

He didn't though. He just walked towards the fridge, averting his eyes from the mirror.

*******

It was just the thunder, Remus tried to convince himself, sitting up in bed. The bang that had rudely awoken him was just thunder. And definitely not a burglar taking advantage of the fact that Remus now lived alone...

Remus rubbed his eyes and reached for his wand. He whispered  _lumos_ as quietly as he could manage, squinted in the light, and aimed it at the watch on his bedside table. It was two in the morning. The rain was still hammering against the windows, and Remus felt a creeping feeling travel down his spine. Tonight just had to be the creepiest night of all time, didn't it? When Remus was home alone.

He ran his hand over his bed until it found the hooded sweatshirt he'd dumped there, and he yanked it over his head. He grabbed his wand again, and forced himself out of bed. He was about to go fight a burglar barefoot.

Holding his wand out threateningly, he opened his bedroom door. The hallway was clear and besides the rain, there was no other sound. The bathroom was empty when he glanced into it.

Pretending he wasn't as scared as he so clearly was, he crept down the stairs, jumping over the fourth one down – which had a habit of creaking loudly.

At the bottom of the stairs, he took a deep breath, and leapt into the kitchen, aiming his wand at the intruder. Except, there was no one there. He turned around and burst through the lounge door and once again, found no one. Maybe it had just been the thunder...

Or... Maybe the burglar was in the one room Remus hadn't checked. He glanced back up the stairs, at the closed door to Sirius's room.

_Great._

Remus walked back up the stairs, still holding his wand at arms length, a list of curses ready on his tongue. His hand hovered over the door handle. He decided maybe bursting into this room loudly wasn't his best form of attack, instead he decided to take it slow. He waited, but no sound came from the other side of the door. He pushed the door open slowly.

Glancing into the room, Remus lowered his wand and felt the corners of his lips curve upwards. He should have known.

His house-mate and best friend was asleep in bed, with only his head poking out from under the covers. A small bit of saliva at the corner of his mouth, visible in the wand-light, suggested he'd been asleep for a while. On the floor – which was now clear of clothing piles, thanks to Remus – were Sirius's trainers, from the angle they lay at, Remus guessed they'd fallen off the bed and were the reason he was awake right now.

The rain hammered against the window and Remus was surprised Sirius was even asleep. Ever since first year, he'd had trouble sleeping through storms. For the first three years of their Hogwarts life, he'd slept in James's bed. Then in fourth year, for some unexplained reason, on a particularly stormy night, he had crawled into Remus's bed.

A tradition had been created, and since that night, they had shared a bed for every storm. Maybe not the most normal thing for two platonic friends to do... Remus let out a short, quiet laugh. He was actually blind. They were not platonic.

Remus turned back around and glanced at the door. He should just leave. Go back to his own bed, and – when Sirius had apparated back to the James and Lily – pretend to be none the wiser to Sirius's overnight adventure. Only he couldn't. Not now he knew he was here.

Remus shut the door with a soft click, and walked towards the bed. He kept his hoodie on and lay down on top of the covers, next to Sirius. Close enough to feel his warmth, and far enough away that they weren't actually touching. He was being super creepy. He didn't care. He shut his eyes, and listened to the rain fall against the glass loudly. The bed smelt like Sirius, which Remus loved and hated at the same time.

This was going to make things between him and Sirius even more awkward, but after five years of sleeping with Sirius during storms, Remus didn't want to sleep through the night without him now. Even if Sirius apparated away the moment he opened his eyes.

He rolled to face Sirius, and opened his eyes. He could see the faint outline of Sirius but not his facial features.

Lightning exploded outside, and lit the room up in a glowing, white light. Remus almost screamed when he saw Sirius's eyes were open, watching him. A smirk tugged at the corner of Sirius's lips, and Remus urged his racing heart to slow down.

“Hi.” Sirius whispered, his voice heavy with sleep. He wiped his mouth and yawned. When Remus didn't say anything, he nuzzled his face into his pillow and added, “Get up.”

“Oh sorry, I.. Uh, yeah okay, I just thought, 'cause the storm and...” Remus stammered standing up.

He'd never felt so embarrassed in his whole life, including that time James's curse for Snape had rebounded and hit Remus – giving him a three foot long nose for three days. Why had he thought getting in Sirius's bed was a good idea? Merlin, he was a moron. He needed some sense beaten into him – he may have to pay Lily a visit tomorrow.

Sirius moved and Remus saw the covers thrown upwards in the darkness. Sirius patted the bed next to him and Remus pulled a face in confusion. When Remus didn't move, Sirius said, “Come on then, before I freeze to death.”

“What?”

“Get in bed.” Sirius said through a yawn. Remus couldn't see but he guessed Sirius already had his eyes closed. His hand continued to pat the bed gently, until Remus stepped closer. He got on the bed, careful to keep distance between Sirius and himself.

Sirius threw the covers back over the both of them. Remus wasn't entirely sure Sirius was fully awake, but he didn't mind. The second the cover was over him, a sleepy feeling swept over him and he knew he'd fall asleep easily.

Sirius moved next to him, the bed compressing in response, and then there was an arm around Remus, pulling him closer. He ended up pressed against Sirius's chest, his lips bumping against the skin. Sirius's head nuzzled into his hair. Seconds later, his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

Remus tentatively wrapped one arm around Sirius, pressing his hand to his back. Their legs tangled under the covers and Remus shut his eyes. The thunder and the rain outside didn't bother him anymore, he fell asleep, feeling Sirius's breath in his hair. 


	11. Better Than Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius falls in love, James is embarrassed, and Remus is entertained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, I did forget to warn you.   
> TINY BIT OF SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER.

**Sirius**

 

Moony was beautiful. As sappy as he knew it was, Sirius couldn't stop watching him sleep.

Last night's storm had disappeared and been replaced by the sun. It cast a square of light directly onto Sirius's bed, lighting up Moony's blond eyelashes. Sirius should shut his curtains to keep the light off his face, and let his friend sleep, but he didn't. He couldn't bring himself to look away from Moony for even a second. He wanted to memorise this image.

Moony was so at peace. That's not to say he looked nervous or stressed during the day, but even since first year, he'd always held that older-than-he-seems look. That look that suggested he was worrying, in a perpetual state of anxiety, just below the surface. It must be the werewolf thing. Going through that transformation every month since childhood, would have that effect.

Not while he was asleep though. While he was asleep, the lines around his eyes didn't seem so deep; the scars didn't seem so harsh; he didn't look like he was fretting over his career (or lack thereof). He was calm and resting.

There was a faint glow of pink in his cheeks, the same colour as his lips – which were parted ever so slightly. Sometime during the night he had pulled his hoodie off, revealing the tempting, kissable skin of his shoulders and chest. Who was Sirius kidding? All of Moony was tempting and kissable.

To reiterate his point, Sirius moved forward slowly and pressed his lips to one of Moony's eyelids. When he pulled away he rolled his eyes at himself, and delicately drew circles along Moony's side with the pads of his fingers. Merlin, he was a soppy git.

Moony made a content sound in his sleep, and nuzzled his head further into Sirius's pillow. The two of them had moved during the night, disentangling. Sirius still had an arm underneath Moony though, and he vowed to remain still and let him sleep.

He'd promised to have a game of one-on-one Quidditch with Prongs, but he would skip it. If Moony wanted to stay here for the next three weeks, Sirius would oblige. And... if Moony woke up and wanted Sirius to disappear again, he'd do that too.

He finally looked away from Moony, and stared at the ceiling. He had been fighting with himself for the past few days, and he'd finally ended the debate he'd been having.

He  _was_ in love with Moony.

The words “in love” felt too intense for Sirius, but he knew it was true. He could deflect the questions Prongs asked and ignore the looks Evans threw at him, but he couldn't deny it to himself. Especially when his eyes roamed back towards Moony, and traced the curve of his lips. Sirius was about to lean forward and press his lips softly to Moony's, when a knocking sound interrupted him.

Moony's eyes fluttered open, and he watched Sirius silently. Sirius held his breath; waiting for Moony to get out of bed and walk off. Or for him to ask Sirius to leave again. He did neither of those things. Instead, he sighed softly and let his eyes close again. In a voice that was barely audible, he said, “Morning.”

“Mornin'.” Sirius replied with a smile.

Moony shifted and moved his head from Sirius's pillow, to Sirius's chest. His hair tickled the bottom of Sirius's chin, and Sirius couldn't resist planting a kiss on the top of his head. He enveloped Moony in his arms, and held onto him tighter than necessary, Moony didn't seem to mind.

He had no idea what this meant. Maybe Moony was still half-asleep, and that was why he was cuddling Sirius. Or maybe it was just a platonic cuddle.

Sirius would have kicked himself if Moony hadn't already fallen back to sleep. Evans was right, he was an idiot. Nothing about this was platonic. Two males don't cuddle while they're both shirtless, and one is in nothing but boxers, if they're just friends. Two platonic male friends don't have sex when they're drunk, fall out, and spend the next few days ignoring each other like teenage girls in a fight.

Sirius may be an idiot, but he did know this cuddling didn't solve everything. They still had to talk but this was a start. Sirius could hold off on that conversation for a while. Right now, he didn't want to let Moony out of his arms for even a second.

A sudden, loud knocking interrupted his thoughts again. Moony shifted, a noise of annoyance coming from his throat. He looked up at Sirius, and asked, “What's that noise?”

“I think-” The knocking came again, more urgent this time and Sirius groaned. Someone was knocking on the front door, and from the sounds of it, they weren't going to leave anytime soon,

“We'll just ignore them.” He whispered, as though the person at their front door could hear him. He wiggled lower in the bed, running his hand slowly up and down Moony's back, and shut his eyes.

“They're not going to leave.” Moony murmured.

As though to emphasize Moony's point, the knocking started again, and this time the sound of a man's voice followed, probably enhanced with a sonorous charm, “Moony wake up, it's important!”

“I'm going to kill him.” Sirius whispered into Moony's hair.

“I don't think Lily would appreciate that.” Moony breathed, freeing himself from Sirius and pulling the covers up to his chin. Sirius propped himself up on one arm and looked at him. Moony opened one eye and shut it again, “I'm not getting it.”

“Why should I? He specifically asked for you.” Sirius complained, sticking out his bottom lip. Moony kept his eyes closed, and Sirius added, “I know you're not asleep.”

One corner of Moony's mouth curved upwards, but he still refused to move. Sirius let out an exaggerated sigh, and pushed the covers off – while  _accidentally_ pushing them off Moony as well – and clambered over him to get out of bed.

“Dick.” Moony muttered, yanking the covers back over himself.

“I love you too.” Sirius called back, making his way down the stairs. The knocking was constant now and Sirius bounded towards the door angrily. He yanked it open and Prongs only managed to say “finally” before he realised he wasn't talking to Moony.

“Oh.” He said, lowering his hand, “There you are.”

“Here I am.” Sirius agreed, wondering why Prongs was here. His mind was already back in bed with Moony, as he leaned on the door frame and waited for Prongs to explain his presence.

After a pause, during which Prongs took in the fact that Sirius was in nothing but boxers, he said, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I live here.” Sirius pointed out.

“I meant, what are you doing here now?”

“I was in bed, but then you knocked on the door, so now I'm stood here.” Sirius explained.

“Yeah, you're a real smart arse.” Prongs said, angrily, “Think you could have left a note or something before you disappeared?”

“Aw, Prongs, were you worried about me?” Sirius asked, fluttering his eyelashes with a smirk.

“I would curse you right here, but I wouldn't want to deny my wife the chance.” Prongs muttered, shoving past Sirius and into the lounge.

He sat down on the couch and pointed his wand at the TV, skimming through the channels until he found something he liked. Sirius watched him wordlessly, glancing briefly at the stairs and hoping Moony stayed in bed long enough for Sirius to come back.

“So, is there a reason you're on my couch? I kind of have something I'd rather be doing.” Sirius said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“We have plans, in case you've forgotten.” Prongs said. With a glare, he added, “Is this  _something you'd rather be doing_ more important than that?”

“No offence, but yeah, he is.”

“He?” Prongs asked, then sudden realisation spread across his face. His eyes darted down to Sirius's boxers and back up again, a soft pink bloom spreading up his neck, “ _Oh._ ”

Prongs flicked the TV off and stood up. Looking anywhere but at Sirius he said, “I should tell Lily you're okay anyway, she was worried.”

“Aw, Evans was worried about me as well? You Potters are all heart, aren't you?” Sirius grinned.

“Shut up.” Prongs snapped. After a beat he said, “Uh... have fun... I guess...”

“I will.” Sirius promised and Prongs looked embarrassed. He apparated away and Sirius all but ran back up the stairs.

When he burst back into his bedroom, his bed was empty. Cursing Prongs and his whole family, Sirius jogged across the hallway to Moony's bedroom and threw the door open. Moony turned away from his wardrobe, a t-shirt in his hands, and stared at Sirius, stunned.

“No.” Sirius said.

“No?” Moony asked, raising his eyebrows.

“No. Get back in my bed.” Sirius commanded.

Moony laughed a short laugh, and turned back to his wardrobe. Sirius waited for him to put the t-shirt away and follow him back to bed. He didn't. He just continued to choose today's outfit. Sirius let out a whine, “Moo-ny.”

Moony looked back up at Sirius, and laughed again, “It's eleven, we can't sleep now.”

Sirius let out a sound that was somewhere between incredulity and impatience. When Moony drew his brows together, Sirius clarified, “Yes we can!”

He closed the gap between him and Moony quickly. Without waiting for a response, Sirius hoisted Moony up and over his shoulder. Moony let out a shocked, “Sirius!” as he was carried out of his room, the t-shirt falling to the ground.

Moony was heavier than he looked, but after years of carrying him back from the shack after a full moon, Sirius was used to it. He patted Moony's leg consolingly and pushed his door open with his foot. He dropped Moony onto the bed, rather unceremoniously, and joined him seconds later. He reversed their earlier position and rested his head on Moony's chest, listening to his heartbeat. They weren't under the covers and Moony's head wasn't even on the pillow – it was still so comfortable.

“Sirius-” Moony began, but was quickly silenced when Sirius placed his hand over his mouth.

“Sh, sleepy time.” Sirius whispered.

Through Sirius's hand, Moony muffled, “What did James want?”

“He wanted to let us know we have his blessing.”

“His blessing for... oh god Sirius what did you tell him?” Moony asked, peeling Sirius's hand off his face.

“I said I had someone to be doing.”

Moony let out an exasperated sigh. Sirius wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his chest. One arm curled around Sirius and Moony relaxed beneath him. The two of them lay still for a long time, fingers tracing patterns on the other's skin. Until finally, Moony acknowledged the elephant in the room.

“So what's the plan?” He asked in a casual way, but Sirius could detect the note of anxiety in his voice.

Sirius waited before replying; trying to compose a good answer. All he managed to come up with was a whispered, “I don't know.”

“Did you... I just have to know, I mean I'm...” Moony took a deep breath, “Did you and her-”

“No.” Sirius said, cutting him off, “Whatever you're about to say, we didn't do it. I don't like her. I like you, and I'm such a moron. Really though, you should know that by now.”

Moony didn't say anything, but Sirius felt him nod. Sirius waited with baited breath, wondering what he would say. He could either choose to be with Sirius, or choose to just be his friend. Could they even be friends after all this?

Did they even want to?

Sirius didn't.

“Do you wanna...” Moony paused, his fingers stilling on Sirius's arm. Sirius gnawed on his lip, and Moony started again, “Do you wanna try the relationship thing?”

Sirius sat up slowly, Moony's arm falling away from him. Moony remained lying down and Sirius moved up the bed, until his face was hovering just above his. He took in the nervous look on Moony's face, looked at the sun sparkling in his eyes, and his tongue darting out to moisten his lips.

Sirius smiled and asked, “Are you asking me out, Remus John Lupin?”

“Yeah.” Moony breathed, a smile tugging at his lips, “Do you wanna?”

“Yeah.” Sirius echoed, “Do  _you_ wanna?”

“Yeah.”

Sirius pressed his lips to Moony's the moment the word was out. His kiss was hard and for a second, he thought he might have been too aggressive. Until Moony's arms wrapped around his neck tightly, and dragged him down, pushing their bodies together from chest to thigh.

Sirius moved the hand that was holding himself up, placing his entire body weight on Moony. He didn't seem to mind much, as Sirius's hand trailed inside the hoodie he'd put back on moments ago. There was a happy sigh against Sirius's lips and he couldn't hold off his smile. It had taken six days to get here and it'd been one hell of a ride, but finally –  _finally –_ the two of them were together.

Although if he was honest, it had actually taken two years to get here, but he wasn't counting. For all he knew, he'd had a crush on Moony for way longer and just denied it. Merlin knows he was good at faking.

He wasn't faking the feeling in his chest though. He wasn't faking the need that swirled inside him when he softly bit at Moony's bottom lip. Or the warmth that spread to his crotch when Moony's hand found his backside. Breathing heavily, the two of them moved apart enough to get Moony's hoodie over his head, and pull his sweatpants down, before they collapsed back together in just their underwear.

Sirius released Moony's lips, planting soft kisses down his jaw and moving down to nip at his neck. He kissed the line of Moony's collarbones, trailing his tongue over the fading lovebite, as his fingers found his nipple. Twisting gently and eliciting a moan from Moony's mouth, Sirius smiled against his skin. He replaced his fingers with his lips and teeth, scraping the skin gently. A louder moan broke the silence in the room and Sirius felt a twitch in his pants.

He worked his way downwards, kissing Moony's stomach as he went. His belly was warm. His chest was rising and falling faster than normal. Sirius trailed his fingers down the sides of his body, making him twitch slightly as he was tickled. Smiling as he went, Sirius ran his tongue down one of Moony's hip bones.

Sirius pulled away feeling slightly dizzy, and out of breath, “There's something I need to do.”

Moony half sat up and watched Sirius get off the bed. The confusion on his face disappeared quickly, and was followed promptly by a slight blush, when Sirius got down on his knees at the edge of the bed.

Sirius placed his hands on Moony's knees and pushed them apart slowly, his mouth running away with nerves and anticipation as he did, “I never got chance last time, because I fell asleep. And I need to do it and I know you want me to. And I've never done-”

“Sirius?” Moony interrupted.

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

“Yes, Sir.” Sirius said with a mock salute, making Moony roll his eyes. He smiled to himself and looked down at the light blue underwear in front of him. He ran his fingers along Moony's thighs, from his knees to the bulge in his pants. He pressed his lips to Moony's inner thigh, sinking his teeth into the sensitive skin.

Tentatively, he rubbed at Moony's cock beneath the fabric and heard a moan. He was already hard and Sirius knew this was his chance to get revenge on Moony. He was a master at teasing, and Moony would be begging for it by the end. He smiled again and hooked his fingers in the waistband of Moony's underwear. He freed Moony's erection and his eyes flicked to look up at his boyfriend, who was looking at him in amazement.

He curled his fingers around the base of his cock. The sigh that escaped Moony's lips told him the pressure was right. He'd never done any of this before, but there was no one else Sirius wanted to learn with.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the end. 
> 
> I love you.


	12. Filthy Mouths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus use their mouths, though not necessarily to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING

**Remus**

 

Sirius's mouth.

Oh fuck - Sirius's mouth.

There were no words. Of all the words he knew, from all the books he'd read, there were no words Remus could come up with to describe Sirius's mouth.

He just watched. Unable to pull his eyes away from the head bobbing between his legs, the black hair curtaining Sirius's face. Remus reached forward and held the hair back, in a tighter grip than he'd intended, and watched his cock move in and out of his mouth. He almost came from the sight of it.

Sirius wasn't experienced in sucking cock, but like everything he did, he learned fast. Copying the moves Remus had pulled a few days earlier, he soon had Remus gasping and bucking his hips eagerly. He wanted to come. He wanted to come down Sirius's throat, he wanted Sirius to taste him. He simultaneously wanted this to last forever, and also end quickly.

“Fuck.” He said, his whole body was on fire now. His heart was threatening to come out of his chest and he could hardly breath – but in a good way. In an oh-fuck-yes way. In a please-let-me-die-like-this way.

Wet and warm and the best place for Remus's cock, was the only description his distracted mind could think of for Sirius's mouth. His brain had turned to soup. If a basilisk had burst through the wall right now, Remus would be unable to defend himself. He wouldn't even be able to identify the creature. He'd be unable to do anything except for notice the absence of Sirius's mouth on his cock.

“Flick your tongue like – oh yeah, like that, fucking hell, Sirius.” Remus moaned, his hands grasping at the sheets. If he could, if his mouth hadn't been quite so occupied, Remus was sure Sirius would have laughed at the power he had right now.

Remus grabbed one of Sirius's hands that had been on his thigh, and dragged it upwards. Sirius made a sound but kept sucking Remus's cock. Remus kissed the tips of Sirius's fingers and licked down the first one, sucking it into his mouth. A moan vibrated around Remus's cock and Remus smiled, scraping his teeth along the length of Sirius's finger.

Sirius's free hand left Remus's other thigh and cupped his balls instead. Remus's mouth went slack around Sirius's finger as his balls were massaged. He moaned, his tongue flicking against the pad of Sirius's finger.

“I want you to fuck me.” Remus said, letting Sirius's finger fall from his mouth.

“Mmph?” Sirius asked, his mouth full. His grey eyes flicking upwards.

“I want, I fucking need you to fuck me.” Remus said, correcting himself.

He dragged Sirius's head away from his cock by his hair, and smashed their lips together. Breathless and sweaty and so, so close to coming, Remus moved along the bed, dragging Sirius with him, until they were horizontal. He reached a desperate hand down into Sirius's boxers and tugged roughly at his erection. Sirius gasped against Remus's lips and sunk his teeth into the soft skin of his bottom lip. It wasn't the best position but neither of them minded.

“Lube?” Sirius gasped pulling away from Remus's lips, his hands clutching desperately at his bony shoulders.

“My room.” Remus answered, his lips bumping Sirius's nose.

“One second, one... hold on, just let me... I should have...” Sirius mumbled, trying to reach the bedside cabinet with Remus's long fingers still wrapped around his cock. After a few seconds of getting nowhere, he pinned Remus with an amused look and asked, “Can you release my cock for like a second?”

“Do you want me to?” Remus whispered with a smirk.

Sirius bumped their noses together and kissed Remus with force, “No, but I do want to fuck you.”

Remus let go of Sirius's cock reluctantly, and Sirius rooted through the top draw. Remus peeked over and saw a mess of random objects – several letters, chocolate frog cards, a handful of pumpkin fizzes, a polaroid of The Marauders laughing, and finally, a small bottle with a pink label on it. Sirius picked it up and held it out to Remus with a confident smile.

“Why do you have that?” Remus asked suspiciously, looking at the small heart on the label, above the words “water based lubricant”.

“It's a long story and we've wasted enough time, during which we could have been fucking. Do you really want me to tell you now?” Sirius asked, arching one eyebrow.

Remus didn't answer with words, instead he just dragged Sirius down, and explored his mouth with his tongue. Sirius, held tightly between Remus's arms, dripped lube into his hand and ran it over his cock. Remus had to release him to let him strip his underwear off, but was quick to grab him back when he was done. He hooked one leg over his hip, feeling Sirius's cock rub against his hole.

“Easy there, slow down.” Sirius laughed, grinding his hips slowly against Remus's arse. He dripped more lube on his fingers and tossed the bottle behind him. Looking deep into Remus's eyes, Sirius moved his hips away from him and pressed one finger to Lupin's puckered hole. Remus spread his legs to give him better access.

Sirius's finger pushed slowly inside Remus, encouraging a sigh from his lips. His muscles tightened around the intrusion. Remus opened his mouth, to say something, but his words failed when Sirius slipped in a second finger.

He moved his fingers around inside Remus, moaning along with him. Remus reached up and tucked Sirius's hair behind his ear. Sirius moved and pressed his face against Remus's palm, kissing the base of his hand.

Remus removed his hand and trailed his index finger along Sirius's pink and slightly swollen lips. Sirius's tongue flicked out and caught Remus's finger. Remus dipped his finger inside Sirius's mouth, moaning when Sirius sucked.

“Fuck me.” Remus ordered pulling his finger out of Sirius's mouth, panting slightly, “No more teasing, fuck me hard. I want you inside me.”

“You have a filthy mouth, Moony.” Sirius teased.

Sirius's fingers were replaced by the tip of his penis, pressing against Remus's hole. Sirius pressed his lips softly to Remus's, moving his hips forward. Remus couldn't contain the moan that escaped when Sirius entered him, Sirius couldn't contain his either.

Sirius moaned something inaudible, during which Remus only managed to catch the words “tight” and “Moony”.

When Sirius's hips began to move back and forth slowly, Remus bit his lip. Sirius ducked his head and bit Remus's shoulder, right over one of the hardened scars there.

Remus moaned louder, he knew he wouldn't last long. Not with Sirius's cock hitting his prostate, and his teeth digging into his skin. When Sirius's hand found his cock and pumped it, matching it to the speed of his thrusts, he felt his orgasm build further. His fingernails dug into the skin of Sirius's back, eliciting a hiss of pleasure and pain from Sirius.

Sirius sped up, thrusting his hips harder, rubbing Remus's cock faster. They were sweaty and hot and gasping loudly – lost in desires and pleasure. Sirius smashed his lips to Remus's, in a kiss that was all tongue and teeth and need. Remus couldn't think straight, there was nothing in the world beyond Sirius's body right now. Nothing he needed more than Sirius's cock inside him.

Sirius's hand was warm and rough and his cock was big and filling all of Remus, and oh fuck he was going to...

“Sirius.” Remus managed to choke out before he gave way to his orgasm. Lost in the dizzying cloud of his orgasm, he felt Sirius come inside him. Hot liquid spurted inside him and Sirius collapsed onto him, their chests rising and falling together as they came together.

Remus felt boneless, and exhausted. Sirius rolled off him, leaving cold air in his place. Remus scrabbled for his wand on the bed covers, not entirely remembering how it got there, and cleaned the bed and themselves.

When he was done he turned around expecting Sirius to be fast asleep already. He was pleasantly surprised to see him watching intently through his black eyelashes, sat against the headboard.

Remus sat back down next to him, not bothering to pull the covers over themselves. In all honesty, he was quite cold, but he didn't want to deny himself the chance to see Sirius's naked body. Even though they were dating now, and he could see Sirius's naked body whenever he wanted. 

Sirius's arm brushed his shoulder and he was pulled closer to him. Remus tilted his head and pressed his lips to the corner of Sirius's jaw.

“We are so doing that again.” Sirius murmured, twirling a strand of Remus's hair through his fingers. Remus hummed in agreement and rested his head against Sirius's shoulder. They fell into comfortable silence for a while, allowing their heartbeats to slow down and their breathing to even out.

They hadn't mentioned the two days they'd spent apart. They didn't need to, really. Everything from this past week had lead them to here, from Remus asking for Sirius's help with his mum, to them getting drunk at the Potters'. All of it lead them to finally being together, so Remus wouldn't change a single thing. Not even Gina...

Okay, that was a lie.

Remus would take out the sad parts, the Gina part, the not seeing Sirius for two days. He would get rid of that part. But they didn't need to talk about it. Everything that mattered had been said... not necessarily with words.

After a long pause, Remus nudged Sirius's foot with his own, “I have one rule for our relationship.”

"And what's that?” Sirius asked.

“Don't ever,  _ever,_ call me darling again.”

Sirius laughed, brushing his lips through Remus's hair. He conceded, “Fine.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also not the end, there will be an epilogue next. 
> 
> Thank you for your lovely reviews, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	13. Epilogue - The Boy Who Pouted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus are perfectly happy with each other. 
> 
> The same can't be said for James, however.

**James**

 

“I don't like it.” James said, pouting. He stared grumpily at the butterbeer in front of him, watching the bubbles rise and form a frothy top. He heard Lily stifle a laugh and glared at her. She looked back at him innocently, and sipped at her water, barely hiding her smirk.

Whatever she said, he was not throwing a tantrum. He was just annoyed that his two best mates were being so rude. He was not acting like a child whose favourite toy had been stolen. He was not a child, and Sirius was not his toy. It really didn't matter that he had been ditched for Moony...

He hadn't been ditched for Remus. Remus was his friend and Sirius was his friend, and it didn't matter that they were rudely having sex when they agreed to meet him and Lily for a drink... absolutely not. They hadn't ditched him just because they were now spending all their time together, and he was apparently not as important to them as he had been two months ago.

“You're pouting.” Lily pointed out with a giggle.

“I am not pouting. I don't _pout._ ” James mumbled.

He drank a mouthful of butterbeer and swiped angrily at the foam moustache on his lips. Ignoring Lily's laughter, he glared furiously at the door waiting for it to open and his two (very rude, and very late) best mates to walk in.

They didn't. A witch in a pink dress walked in, a dwarf with a ginger beard walked in, and a Slytherin school boy, who couldn't have been older than 14, walked in, but no Remus and no Sirius.

“They're half an hour late!” James said throwing his arms out in anger when he caught sight of the clock on the wall, “What can be so important that they're half an hour late!”

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but James could predict her answer, he held out his hand to silence her, “Don't say it.”

“They're dating now, of course they're having-”

“Don't!” James interrupted disgustedly, “Don't say it. I don't need to know about Padfoot and Moony doing... Just don't.”

“You're so cute when you're jealous.” Lily laughed, dipping her hand into the bag they'd bought from Honeydukes. She found a sherbet lemon and popped it into her mouth.

“I am not jealous. Why would I be jealous?” He asked, pushing his glasses up his nose and folding his arms across his chest. Before Lily could answer with another giggly remark, he said, “They've been dating for two months now, don't they have any control?”

Lily opened her mouth to answer but just then, the door to The Three Broomsticks opened and Sirius Black swaggered in. His hair was a little messy and his cheeks were tinged pink. Remus Lupin followed close behind, his lips slightly swollen and curved into a small smile.

Even from here James could see the wrinkles in their clothes, he turned to Lily and muttered, “Animals. They're actually animals.”

Lily smiled at him and patted his knee consolingly. Sirius and Remus nodded to James and Lily and walked to the bar. While they were stood there, James saw Sirius place his hand on Remus's arse. He grimaced and threw a look to Lily, who smiled happily at the two of them. She didn't seem to mind that Sirius was openly groping Remus and the two of them were having eye-sex at the bar.

Butterbeers in hand, with their eye-sex and groping coming to an end, the two of them slid into the booth with James and Lily. They grinned at James and he had to admit, he did feel a pout come on. Lily kicked him gently in the ankle and he glared at her.

“Where were you?” He asked, ignoring the whine that crept into his voice.

“I was doing stuff.” Sirius said, with a grin. James didn't get what was so funny, or why Sirius threw a look at Remus.

That is, until Remus shook his head and said, “Nope, I'm not doing it.”

Sirius pouted at Remus and whined, “Moony, you promised.”

“No, Sirius.”

James met Lily's confused glance and waited for some explanation. Eventually Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and with a sigh said, “I'm stuff.”

Sirius grinned gleefully and turned to face James, “Get it? 'Cause I said I was doing stuff and he's-”

“Yeah, we got it. Thanks.” James muttered.

“Someone's grumpy.” Sirius stage-whispered to Moony, making him laugh.

He wrapped an arm around Remus's shoulders, and drank some of his butterbeer. James glared at them. Lily offered the Honeydukes bag to them and Remus's fingers found a pumpkin fizz. Returning to their earlier eye-sex, Remus placed the sweet into Sirius's open mouth, his fingers brushing Sirius's lips as they did.

“Can we not have a live sex show at the table, please!” James asked loudly, staring at the table.

“Aw, Prongs, don't worry, you're still my best girl.” Sirius said, with a smirk. After a beat he added, “If we ever need a third for a threesome, we'll come straight to you, I promise.”

“Right, I'm leaving.” James said angrily, pushing himself up from the table. Three sets of laughter followed him as he stormed out of The Three Broomsticks. He made a mental note to never, ever, _ever,_ set up his friends ever again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end!  
> Thanks to anyone who commented or left me kudos, it meant the world to me! I owe you all so much. Thank you and I'm so glad you enjoyed it.  
> Hey and if you feel like it.... *shamelessly slides my other works towards you across the table*


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